Then vs Now: Parenting Styles in the 80s vs Today

Growing up in the 80s, parenting was a whole different experience compared to what we see today. It was more rugged, more hands off, and somehow still filled with love, even if it wasn’t always spoken out loud. Parents didn’t talk much about “gentle parenting” or “emotional intelligence.” They just did what they knew, often based on how they were raised. You misbehaved, you got corrected. No long conversations. No time outs. You were expected to learn fast and toughen up.

Back then, kids played outside till sunset without anyone panicking. Scraped knees and bruises were normal. If you cried too much, you were told to “stop that noise” or “go drink water.” Respect for elders wasn’t a discussion. It was a rule. Parents didn’t need to repeat themselves a hundred times. One look was enough.

Now, things are different. Parenting today is softer, more thoughtful, and often more child centered. There is more conversation. More room for children to ask questions and express how they feel. Parents now worry about their child’s mental health, not just grades or chores. You’ll see parents negotiating with their toddlers, explaining things step by step, using positive reinforcement instead of fear.

In some ways, that’s beautiful. Kids today are learning early how to use their voice, how to understand their emotions, how to speak up. That’s something many of us didn’t have growing up. We just bottled things up. We survived, sure, but not without scars.

But there is another side to it too. Sometimes, modern parenting can feel a bit too soft. There’s a fear of being “too harsh” and in the process, some kids grow up with little sense of boundaries. They talk back without thinking. They struggle with discipline because not everything in life can be negotiated. Life won’t always ask how you feel before hitting you with challenges.

So which is better? Honestly, I think both eras had something to offer. The 80s gave us resilience and respect, but often at the cost of emotional expression. Today’s style gives more love and emotional safety, but sometimes struggles with structure and consequences.

I and my mom

The sweet spot might be in finding a balance. Bringing the emotional intelligence of modern parenting together with the firm foundation of the past. Kids need love, yes, but they also need limits. They need to be heard, but also to know when to listen.

Parenting has changed, and it will keep changing. The goal shouldn’t be to pick a side but to raise humans who are strong, kind, and ready for the world.

That’s what matters in the end.

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