Generous or selfish?
To give this answer I must go back to my childhood, because if you had asked this question to my parents some 29, 30 years ago they would have undoubtedly said without hesitation “definitely selfish”.
I remember my fights as a teenager with my older sister, she totally crazy and messy, and me the complete opposite (this was also an aspect that changed over the years). The most common were the fights over clothes, she would take my things without asking me for them and then when I wanted to wear them I usually couldn't find them because she had already worn them and ended up finding them in the laundry basket.
I don't know if because she was the “oldest” she thought she had the right to do it, but the truth is that my mom instead of telling her to respect my things and ask me to borrow them, she would tell me “don't be selfish, she is your sister”.
I confess that on more than one occasion I hid the clothes I knew she liked the most so she wouldn't take them away from me, but she always ended up finding them... I'm sure my mom was her accomplice, hahahaha... I was really mad about this, because she was so careless that sometimes she ended up damaging my things or misplacing them.
-In the photo my sister with the face of a saint 😂-
It was something that I could never really solve, peace came home when she went to study out of town, the fights over clothes were over, but I was very careful not to let her take anything of mine in her suitcase.
The truth is that I grew up with that label that my mother gave me of “selfish”, and I bought it, for a long time I was ‘territorialist’, something like the motto of “what's mine is mine and no one else's”.
Then over the years that was changing, fortunately I left that “territorialist” vision and now I have no qualms about sharing and helping everyone I can. I think my vision of life changed drastically after the first accident. Now I am more of that current of thought that believes that “giving and receiving is an expression of the same thing”.
I firmly believe that when you give with an open heart the universe gives you back the grace multiplied; and also that it is necessary to live life without attachments in order not to harbor so much suffering.
As a funny anecdote I tell you the end of this story; now my sister is upset because her teenage daughter disappears her clothes and wears them without borrowing them, and I laugh from afar seeing how she is paying for her karma, hahahaha.
This was my response to Weekend-Engagement topics: WEEK 271
See you next weekend! Thanks for being and good vibes to you!
🔆 100% original content.
🔆 Translated made with DeepL.
🔆 Avatar taken from the Bitmoji app.
🔆 Photos taken with my mobile device.
Life really has a way of turning things around. Funny how your sister is now experiencing the same with her daughter. Wishing you more moments where you can just enjoy watching things fall into place.
Yeah, actually that was really funny to me, when she told me about it and said she was upset that her daughter took her things, I said “now do you see what it feels like?” and she was instantly speechless 😅
Hi @miriannalis, me again for your blog.
Your cute post brought back memories of when I lived with my parents and siblings. I am the eldest of my brothers, and my case was opposite to the one you experienced. I've always been concerned about saving, even before working, even without having worked for Chamo. When the money came to me, I kept it and used it to buy clothes or colognes. That was my thing. When I started working, that got bolted on more, and I was buying really good stuff.
Well, it turned out that my little brothers, Luis and Enrique, sneaked into my things and secretly grabbed my clothes, my cologne, and that made me explode. This is where the good comes in: Mom, she used to tell me: Don't be angry, don't be selfish, they are your little brothers.
That all ended when I decided to leave home. Being independent was like opening a chest of good wishes; everything was wonderful.
Now, after reading your post and remembering, I miss my brothers. Two of them died, and the other three are far away.
I loved your participation.
I send you a lot of love from this side of the planet.
!ALIVE
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Hahaha... I think that this situation between siblings is a daily occurrence in most families... these days I saw a very nice post on Instagram, where a therapist talked about the importance of healing the relationship with siblings and realizing that in our lives they are great teachers, precisely because they teach us things like that, sharing or defending our own, setting limits, managing jealousy, envy, leadership, how to stand out, etc, etc... I agree with the therapist in all of that.
Every family member shows us and teaches us something, even in distance, or in absence...sorry they are no longer with you.
A hug for you 🤗
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