Reset Button

After almost two months, I am free now, with nothing to do specifically, yet the mountain standing before me to move now or never. The situation ahead of me is pretty bad, but I am prepared for the battle that starts now, today, not tomorrow. Yeah, delaying means leaving the scope of digging something more, so without any delays, I have started planning things that will be in production with time. Am I going to list them here? Nope, not right now. I have left them for later, after execution and the results I hope to yield, nothing before that.

So, what now? It's time to leave behind some thoughts that might slow me down on the battlefield. Oh yeah, thoughts are always better expressed properly; let them live instead of rotting inside. Good, bad, or worse, I do prefer the idea of expressing myself somehow, whether it's a person or a personal diary; whatever it is, let the free flow of mind.

Hey, wait, lemme tell you a tiny funny incident, a tragedy of fate that has become a funny truth for me. As I have mentioned before, my luck has always tied me to the first bench on most of the exams I appear in. The same shit happened to me today once again. No more words on this.

Right now, sitting in front of the desk, my workstation, from where I will be diving into the war. Oh yeah, nothing starts without a coffee; being caffeinated is the first and foremost rule for me to concentrate. My dearest companion, no matter how bad the situation is, I need coffee, lots of it.

I had a habit of thinking about the possible positive and negative outcomes before initiating a plan. I don't know how you would take it, but I am feeling like this one is slowly killing me. Why? When I am anticipating a possible negative outcome, a failure, my mind goes one step forward and starts thinking of a counter for that to tackle. Is it good or bad? In the initial thoughts, this seems fruitful as you are ready for all the outcomes, but in the long run, my mindsets get hampered; how? When I know that the failure has a backup plan to tackle, I somehow start idling; my mind says to chill as I have a backup for the failure. Thus, the intense cravings for "Do or Die" situations never exist, and so most of my plans are led by the backup plans of failure. It's like the ultimate urge gets disturbed and I feel comfortable even when I am on the wrong track as I know I have a backup plan, lol. Many struggle to achieve this to survive in the crucial situation and I am suffering from this, it's like the virtue that has backfired on me.

Is it a matter of pride that I can tackle every situation(mostly failures) or something I should be ashamed of for being a fool to be happy over the graves of my plans, which got strangled by my mindsets?