Nightcrawler
It tok mee a long time to realise that learning and growth is not dependant on the tech i am possessing rather on the third and mindset that i should do it. Like, the rig I had was a beast, those 27 inch and 22 inch dual monitor setup couldn't help me that much in my learning curve that my 14 inch laptop did, yeah its the game changer for me. IT isn't about the hardware, its about the phase of life that I am going through right now and the mindset I am possessing.
When you thirst for something and get it, the curve gets destroyed, it starts to fall unless you hold on tighter. I couldn't, I fell down pretty badly, my progress got stuck and the downfall was pretty bad. Now, at the bottom, there is nothing to give me the comfort I was having, the push I was getting. Only things I see, none is me who got none to do my part, to bear my expenses, ease the responsibilities, literally none! It's always us with our own chores. People do come by and go, especially in your good time, you would notice the crowd that is absent in the hardships.
Willingly or unwillingly, a few things got changed, the sleeping schedule which used to be my biggest enemy. My past writings are evidence of me being a nightcrawler. Staying awake till the sunrise and going to bed then. Now? Need to wake up before 8.00 am. Whether I stay awake till 2am or more, i gotta wake up, and by default the bedtime is on early now.
Tonight? Felt like sitting to press the keycaps just like old times. Flow with the words to speak out my mind. Life is beautiful!! It's just amazing to see how fast the night changes. Only if I could go back in time and fix the things that I just messed up. No way!
Years back, I used to stay up till the morning, doors were locked, windows shut. Now, I do have vast open windows, I can easily see the night sky, buildings in the distance, and the twilight that gives a mesmerizing view that I am sure 80% of the people living in the city miss. I’m still on my table, hitting the keycaps, and taking breaks to sip on the cup of coffee while looking at the sky, so beautiful. Having a stuck glance on the moving sky in this twilight helps me with all the stress I have, all the equations that are going through, and all the things that are bothering me.
One thing that is yet to leave behind is to realise the urgency of doing something. I get so carefree with the most serious things as well that I end up paying a huge price with unaffordable losses. Few things are hard to forget, maybe impossible oftentimes.
Got few things from the todo list to do, thought of putting it off for tomorrow and then realised that the same thing i have been saying for over a week. This time, I am not gonna go to bed before I am done with this tonight, no matter if i hit 8.00am as well.
Goodbye,
Have a great day!!