Marriage Expectations: Setting The Bar Moderately High

I know many of my mates have long married and some are getting serious to settle down now, I'm among the ones who still think there's no need to rush it because I know the standard I want for my marriage to be built on. Marriage is an institution I'll never graduate from so it only makes sense that I prioritize it's foundation and the processes.

Growing up, I had this very high standard of the kind of partner I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. This standard kept reducing over time to the simple things any woman would appreciate in her man, it doesn't mean I don't think I deserve the best. If there's a best husband out there, I deserve to have one and it's a dream to have one.

Humanity is imperfect and marriage is one many are trying for the first time so it's expected to have hurdles that the individuals will have to go through to make it perfect, like gold that goes through harsh process to be refined and look beautiful in the eyes of many. To make this possible, there is the need to find a right partner.

I once asked an elderly in the marriage thing, "How did you know this is the right person to do a lifetime with?" because at that point I saw it as an impossible thing, and people just try their luck with marriage if it will work for them or not. But her response changed my perspective for the better, "knowing what I want is a very good start."

I've only had to sit down a few times to think on what I really need in the person I'll spend the rest of my life with, and those times, I make sure to remind myself that no human is perfect, I may never find all I need in one man and I might have to help the man I find to build the rest of the qualities I want to see in him for a stronger bond.

With all that in mind, my future partner has to be spiritual and ready to help me grow closer to God. I know I'm not strong enough for God's work but I believe I'll do a lot more having a supportive and spiritual person as my partner. Doing God's work together and growing in everything spiritual will definitely expand my family in other areas.

A partner I can act, talk and laugh with freely, like a best friend is one I can't pass on for anything. I'm not very social so the few people I get comfortable and free with, I appreciate their existence a lot more and want to keep that relationship going on for as long as possible. So a brother and a friend in a husband is my choice.

If I say I don't want a handsome, rich, romantic and most especially, a healthy husband, I'll be lying to myself lol. They are all a high priority for me because it is all that spicing that will keep my marriage blooming with love, happiness and most importantly peace of mind. Settling for less in this regard is not in my book, hopefully never.

While I give count of the things I want in my partner, I also remind myself to be the best partner anyone would ask or dream of. It's why I prioritize loving myself while I work towards living comfortably until I meet the one who fills in the spaces rightly. It doesn't have to be a grand meeting or a perfect union but one to cherish.