Florida’s Alligator Alcatraz

Florida really said, “Who needs walls when you’ve got gators?”

They’re building a detention camp in the middle of the Everglades — literally in the swamp — and calling it Alligator Alcatraz (no, seriously).

The site? Smack dab at an old airport 45 miles west of Miami, surrounded by alligators, pythons, and mosquitoes the size of drones. Officials say it’ll eventually hold up to 5,000 people, but they’re starting with about 1,000 beds — in tents and trailers. Real cozy.

The logic? According to Florida’s Attorney General, nature is the fence. Who’s escaping through gator country? (Spoiler: no one.)

And yes — they’re rushing the build. Thanks to emergency powers from DeSantis, part of this thing could be open by early July. Because nothing says “humane policy” like dropping people in the middle of Jurassic Park.