🇺🇸 The Great American Food Fight: Ronald vs. Wendy and the Battle for Common Sense 🍟
Picture this: Ronald McDonald (with a red tie and a spray tan) walks into the All-American Diner holding a tray labeled “America First Combo.”
Behind the counter, Wendy (a.k.a. AOC with pigtails, progressive flair, and a clipboard) flips her hair and says, “Welcome to Utopia — where logic is optional and everything’s free, as long as someone else pays for it!”
Ronald slams the tray down. “We gotta talk, Wendy. Men shouldn’t be in women’s sports, the border looks like a Black Friday sale, and this economy’s so bad even the Hamburglar switched to OnlyFans.”
Wendy smirks, twirling a curly fry. “Ronald, don’t be dramatic. Inclusion is beautiful! And open borders mean more customers!”
“Customers?!” Ronald shouts, tossing a Big Mac at the wall. “Lady, these aren’t customers — they’re walking through the kitchen taking the burgers!”
The crowd gasps.
Wendy rolls her eyes, grabs a rainbow-colored spatula, and fires back: “Trans rights in the military are non-negotiable, Ronald. Soldiers should feel fabulous and fearless!”
Ronald adjusts his clown gloves. “How about they feel trained and qualified first?”
He tosses her a policy fry that reads ‘Common Sense’.
She dodges it and throws a milkshake labeled ‘Tolerance (Extra Whipped)’ straight back. It hits the wall and spells “DEBATE.”
By now, the restaurant’s chaos. Fries flying. McFlurries melting. The “Economy” register blinking DECLINED.
Ronald’s trying to fix it with duct tape and a tax cut. Wendy’s promising free Wi-Fi, free burgers, and free forgiveness for student loans.
Then they both stop, noticing the one lonely customer at the counter — the American taxpayer — digging through their pockets.
Excuse me,” the taxpayer says, “can I just get some change?”
Wendy and Ronald both point at each other: “He took it!” “She spent it!”
The taxpayer sighs, picks up a mop, and mutters,
"Every election feels like I’m just cleaning up the last food fight."
At this point, it’s not red vs blue — it’s ketchup vs. socialism, fries vs. fantasy. And no matter who’s flipping the burger, the middle class still gets the bill. 🍟🤡💅🇺🇸