Newsom Threatens to ‘Punch’ Trump in the Face 🥊🥊

Finally, politics has devolved into what it was always meant to be: two rich guys arguing on a playground. Forget about inflation, crime, or the fact California is emptying out faster than a bar when the karaoke guy picks Nickelback—nope, this is about Gavin Newsom’s fantasy boxing match with Trump.

Because nothing screams “defender of democracy” like threatening to clock your opponent in the jaw. Authoritarianism? Bad. Violence? Bad. Unless, of course, it’s your violence. Then it’s a heroic Marvel movie moment. Cue the dramatic music.

Meanwhile, back home, Californians can’t afford rent, can’t buy groceries without a second mortgage, and can’t even keep the lights on—rolling blackouts are the state’s official pastime. But sure, Newsom’s priority is perfecting his right hook for Trump.

And now the governor wants to run America the same way he’s run California. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, who doesn’t dream of $10 gas, sidewalks lined with tents, and a government that treats shoplifting like a hobby?

If this is his 2028 audition, just skip the debates and throw it straight to Pay-Per-View:
“Trump vs. Newsom: The Battle for America.”
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