Love,too late.

"Is this a crush"?
"Could it be infatuation"?
"Could there be more to this sister-brother relationship between me and Temi"? Tomi intermittently paced around her room and kept on pondering how to make sense of her present situation.
It's been hours since she returned from school. Her backpack was still hanging loosely on her back, and her lunch box was dangled limply in her hand. Apparently, she had already extensively thought hard and through while journeying home by foot; her partner in crime, Temi, wasn’t there today, to interrupt her thought.

Source

Tomi is the only child of both parents technically, she became one by default.
Tomi used to have two other male siblings the family tragically lost due to their parents' irrational decisions, all, because they were flued by the cliché "love overcomes all." - unfortunately, this couldn't save Tawa and Tiwa from the effect of sickle cell disease.
Tomi's loss made her feel withdrawn and hesitant to form new bonds with other people beyond that of her parents.
Her fear of losing another loved one to the grip of death made her become a lone wolf instead of risking suffering from emotional pain and hurt again - this, however, made her develop a monophonic condition.

Everything is prone to change, and Tomi's decision to live in solidarity couldn't escape this natural law.

"Hello, Tom girl"! The new student, Temi, greeted Tomi, with a quirky smile, hoping to sound funny.

Tommy didn't budge, nor did she raise her head to acknowledge the person in front of her. Instead, she pretentiously fixated her gaze on the pages of the English Textbook sprawled on her desk, feigning interest in reading it.
"Aren't you the one I'm greeting?" Temi furiously asked banging his fist on her table unconsciously.

"How may I help you, new boy"?Tomi finally dropped her act because the banging noise of her desk had successfully diverted the attention of all her classmates at her.

"Are you for real?"
"So, can't I act friendly towards my classmates anymore"? He inquired with a straight face, turning away from her and facing the group of students who were waiting for the situation to escalate into something more confrontational.
An indistinct chattering began to build up in the atmosphere of the classroom, everyone was trying to air their displeasure towards Tomi's sudden changed behavior all at the same time.
"She wasn't like this before o "
"She used to be cheerful like a butterfly and not like a lonely owl", their murmur persisted.
Enough!!! Tomi exclaimed ferociously; everyone could sense anger in her tiny soprano voice, which usually would be drowned out in a crowd, miraculously sounded strong, subduing all the chattering noise.

Witnessing Tomi's outburst, her classmate's expectations for a fight felt ruined, "There is not gonna be a show anymore ", they said, resuming their paused discussions, choosing to mind their business for the day, yet Temi remained right there, undeterred by Tomi's attempts to shoo away.
"Excuse me, I want to pass", she said as she tried to squeeze herself through the narrow space between the desks to the door.
"Sure thing!" Temi replied calmly, stepping back and creating space for Tomi to walk through.
"Mission completed!" Temi exclaimed, feeling relieved of Tomi's petty troubles, as she walked past him.

Suddenly, Temi moved close, walking at the same pace behind Tomi.
Apparently, Tomi's skirt got stained; she was on her period.
Meanwhile, Tomi's anger was beginning to steam, she couldn't tolerate Temi's misdemeanor anymore.
Tomi was about to make a turn to slap some senses into Tomi's head before she heard him whisper,
"Don't move; your skirt is stained" Tomi halted her angry strides and suddenly stood numb, allowing Temi to shield her from a potential embarrassment that could have been if it caught the eyes of her classmates.
This little kindness of Temi towards Tomi on that day marked the very beginning of a change in Tomi's gloomy sky - for the first time in a long time, she felt seen and cared for.

Following the skirt staining incident, Temi and Tomi grew fonder of each other and their connection deepened each passing day. Wherever you see Temi, surely, that means there's Tomi somewhere around; they never lose sight of each other.
Their classmates intuitively knew there was more to the "brother-sister, "platonic friend," and "classmate" labels they maintained publicly since they both chose not to spell it out.
Actually, Tomi knew Temi wanted more to their relationship but Temi was the one who strongly suggested they maintain the friendship status quo.
Torn between nurturing the blossom of her feelings and fear of losing who or what she once owned, Tomi chose the former in place of exposing her heart to another episode of emotional trauma.

Weeks turned to months,
Months to year,
And year to years.
With each passing day, Temi's patience only wore thinner. Unable to continue waiting for Tomi to face her fear and requite her love for him, he decided to move on with his life and bury his love towards her.

It happened on a fateful while Temi was trying to tidy up his room which he had left in disarray during his rushed departure to catch his flight to campus, situated at Abuja.
Actually, Tomi was one of the few lucky recipients who got an express scholarship from the Federal Ministry of Education after graduating High school.
Tomi flew into Lagos earlier that day to pick up an important document he inadvertently left behind while packing up for the new academic session.

Tap- tap- tap......Temi paused his cleaning, curiosity stirred. He wiped his sweaty face with his damped T-shirt, then grasped the doorknob. As he swung the door open, a bright smile greeted Temi.

"Hi Tomi, what's up?
"Wait, how did you know I'm around?" I don't recall telling you I'll be around," Tomi asked as he ushered Temi into his room.
"I have my source", she said with a mischievous smile.
Tomi settled on the rumpled bedspread, sweeping her gaze through the room.
"Sorry for the mess! I wasn't expecting company, " Temi said, trying to make light of the appearance of his room
"No worries, that's not a problem", she waved her hands, dismissing his worries
"What brings you here by the way"? He questioned.
"Temi, I'm sorry!"
"I'm sorry, I wasn't bold enough to confess my true feelings towards you "
"I'm sorry, I allowed the fear of losing you to someone else to stop me from starting our love story"
" I'm sorry Temi"........
"Could you please give "us" another chance, Tomi knelt down with her head buried in between Temi's thighs as tears streamed down her face.
Temi's expression remained indifferent.
"I'm sorry Tomi, there's no longer 'us'. The 'us' that could have existed is long dead. I now have a girlfriend, someone who doesn’t carry the weight of our past around, someone who makes me feel loved and seen.

Temi gently pulled her onto her feet and hugged her.
"I'm sorry, I can't barter her for you", he said with a shaky voice.
"I'm sorry, Temmy," Tomi mumbled as Temi patted her back, offering comfort.
"You deserved to be happy too"
"The universe owe you that much." Temi tried pacifying her, but she wept the more.

©️ Medemausi

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