Combating Pressures: Diary Of An Only Child
Since I was little my life has always been about pressures, and I am not alone on this path. As a child, once one shows some educational promise, there will be lofty expectations all around.
The first time I understood a pressurized situation was when I got flogged for coming a distant third in the class examination. Funnily enough, we had 28 students in the class. Immediately the result of the exam was collated, the headmistress made it a case in point to seek me out and flog me in front of the class. In all sincerity, I could barely understand why I was being flogged. I took the beat down in good faith.
Unbeknownst to me, my torture was just starting. When I got home and showed my mom the result, her next point of action was to send a thundering slap across my face. "You came third again," she shouted. "Did I not tell you to come out on top this time? Whenever it is time for you to read, you are always busy playing some rubbish football," my mom continued.
This occurrence is not new. In fact, I can bet most kids that showed some form of educational brilliance when they were little get some form of punishment by their loved ones for either failing an exam outrightly or not passing to the level they were expected too. Even as little as the age of seven, expectations already abounded; pressure was imminent.
Every exam must be passed in flying colours. The one where I fell short, every trick in the book was employed to motivate me to do better. There was a time when I was promised a serious threat if I came out with the best result of my colleagues in an exam. There was also an occasion - just before my Junior School Certificate Exam - where I was categorically told I will be demoted to a mushroom secondary school for my senior classes if I did not score all A's in my JSCE.
Of course, I did not score all A's neither was I demoted to a mushroom school. And I received an earful when I got home with the result - a result that 95% of parents would've been proud of. But then, I was one of the 5% that was always expected to excel academically, no matter the condition or whatever shit I may be going through. Simply put, I had no excuse. And that was the way it was till my early twenties. Then, expectations shifted. Another form of pressure took over!
Life as an only child can be interesting at the early stages of life. You have your parents doting over you, treating you like their shiny piece of glass that must not crack or break. However, it can quickly become a terrifying one when one attains a certain stage. I quickly realized that when one of my aunts called to direct some stinging words towards me.
It happened that she talked to my mom about my relationships and was told that I was not seeing any lady at that time. She went berserk. She called me with an angry tone to tell me 'my duty.' That was the first time that I got to know that it was 'my duty' to get married as early as possible and produce grandchildren for my parents. I was just 21 and that changed me, totally.
From then onwards, I got scared of starting a relationship. I spent more time quietly scrutinizing whichever lady that comes my way to know if she will be marriage-worthy or not. At such an early age, I missed out on the fun of being in a relationship just to enjoy the ride without worrying where it leads to. For me, before even starting I wanted to know where it was going to end. I was indirectly under pressure to settle down. I became impossible to cope with.
Pressure can also get ramped up if one is unfortunate enough to attend those churches where the pastors see themselves as deputy to God, wielding their uncanny ability to see the future like they already lived it. Those dudes tell visions and prophecies like they shared the same apartment with God and just had a meeting with Him. Just pray not to come across those slimy liers who will tell your parents you are destined to be rich by the age of 25. That's when you know what real pressure is.
As for me, I have braved the pressures of the early years to the young adult years admirably. The one I'm contending with right now is the pressure to 'Japa'. It happens that some of these 'church' people told my parents my 'glory' is overseas. You see my life? Since then, each day I spend around here is seen as a waste of time. May God see me through this new wave of pressure. Combating it has not been easy especially with a couple of my relatives already out there in the cold.
