I Want to be more Expressive

If I met a person today, their liking of my personality solely depends on the kind of person they are. I'm a very reserved person, and when I'm perceived that way, many tend to find me unfriendly and won't want to associate with me. I find it difficult to make friends immediately with people I just met.

Not because I don't like meeting or having new friends; it's just me trying to study the person and understand the person before I become free to talk with them. When I exhibit this, many feel I am being too distant and I don't want to associate with them, but inwardly I want them to make a move, then I follow them how they are.

I remember sometimes last year when being in my own shell was my nature. I met a girl at a concert. She has this social time that can make lots of friends within a second. She tried all she could to get me talking and flowing with her energy, but I was only smiling and chipping in some words in almost everything she said.

I'm sure she regretted ever sharing the same seat with me. That day passed, and two weeks later she met with some group of people, and she approached me due to how shocked she was. She told me I gave her the impression I was a calm and quiet person.

Starting a conversation is not my best suit, but when someone starts something that is interesting and is related to my niche, I try my best to flow and keep it going. If it's a topic that has to do with life experiences, I don't find it too hard to contribute, but when it's a topic I'm not very familiar with, I respect myself to stay quiet.

If I could change anything about myself, the first thing I would love to change is the inability to initiate a conversation when I meet someone for the first time. Being able to be an initiator of a conversation would make it easier for me to build friendships with others. I hate that ice that stays unbreakable whenever I met someone for the first time because I'm scared of how they will respond or how awkward my first conversation with them would sound or turn out.

I know that if I can blend my caring personality with being more expressive when I'm meeting new people for the first time, it will mean a lot. That's another thing I would love to work on. I remember when I first got to my current place of work, everyone felt I was a quiet person; the impression was that I was quiet. It was gradually I started flowing with them, and currently we are just like family. I'm trying my best to work on that first impression that makes many feel restricted to me because they don't know when, what, and how to bring up a conversation that would be interesting to me since I appear cold.

Although many feel the first impression is what matters but for me it's not because it only tells just a little about who a person is. My first impression can be a calm person, but later you get to realize I'm not as calm as I made it look the first time we met.

I prefer a long-lasting relationship to a quick-to-end type of relationship. I prefer taking things slowly with others in order to build a long-lasting relationship. I'm still trying to work on my not being able to make an effort to start a conversation.

I know people might not like such a personality, but for the little people who had patience and took their time to get to know me better, they ended up finding me to be the best gift they ever met. I value being myself, but regardless, I'm still working on how I can be caring,calm and still improve on how I relate with others on my first our first meeting.

Images are mine

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