When Age Becomes A Cage.

This is a very deep and heavy one; still, we will dive in. Now, what about if there should be a law that gives a limit to who can become partners based on age? On the surface, it does sound great, but thinking about it deeply, it is the other way round. Just imagine a law that states you can only marry someone who's 10 years older or younger than you. It does look as if it's good and would be in the best interest of the vulnerable. But, on the other side, doesn't it feel like putting one's emotions (love) in chains?

Let's expatiate: in some societies, we find young girls being forced into early marriages; most of them even get into marriages with men that are their fathers or grandfathers's age. To now imagine that there's a “marriageable range,” it could be of great help to them; it would reduce the rate at which these girls face life early, and it would reduce the stress of being a wife at a very tender age. What does a sixteen-year-old girl know about marriage, not to mention having a family? That is more than a weight; it can crumble and shatter. Even though at times we still say it's because of their culture, some claim it's due to poverty. Whatever the case may be, a law like "marriageable range" would definitely act as a shield for many young ones who can't speak, stand, decide, and act for themselves.

And here's where love comes in. Love cannot be boxed. It is definitely possible for people to be of the same age range yet lack the maturity, intelligence, and all that is needed to keep a marriage running. Likewise, it is possible for couples with gaps in their ages to run their marriage smoothly. Why? Because one is experienced, mature, and of age, while the other partner as well is still fresh and full of energy. And what does that mean? They balanced each other out. It is not working for them because of the age gap; it is working because they understood each other.

It's just as if you are telling a woman of 30 years who's enjoying and has found peace in her partner who's 60 years of age that her love/companionship is illegal and punishable by law. You never know how much she loves this man and vice versa, you don't know how long they've known each other, you don't know what storms this man has helped her pass through, and you don't know how good a friend and partner this man has been to her, yet a law would come and cancel or dismiss all those years of their genuine love/bond simply because of their age gap. That's injustice.

If such a rule were to be in place, believe you me, more harm will be done. You will definitely see more people lying or doing an affidavit of age; some will marry in secret. Such a law would be believed to solve one of the problems affecting the society, but in the real sense it is actually creating another.

Even though the age gap can be a concern, the real concern should be maturity, consent, and readiness. We should ask questions...ask if the people involved are ready and also prepared to share responsibilities, ask them if they are ready to sacrifice, as that is what partnership is also about, ask if they know the weight of what they are putting themselves in, and ask if they are ready to be one and grow together. Beyond asking about if one is older than the other by ten or fifteen years, those questions matter more.

Do they understand the weight of what they are choosing? These questions matter more than whether one partner is ten or fifteen years older or younger.

In conclusion, even though age can possibly influence love, it should never define love/a union. We always say age is just a number, meaning age cannot measure hearts. As long as two adults consent/agree to be with each other and build together, that is enough; honor and respect their decision and do not stop/restrict it.

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