My Journey Through Failing And Rising.

I believe everyone at some point has experienced failure, and as the time we do, our brain which is wired to protect us brings it to our notice not to try that thing again, it never wants us to get hurt, because failure hurts.

That's why we withdraw from something when we find out we've failed at it, that's not because bwe are weak, we are just being human. And personally, I have failed, countless times, and each time I just wanted to let go, its not easy coping with the fact that you started something and you failed at it.

There was a time I was passionate about an online business, so I started, I was so excited, I have seen people who do same, how much they make and all, so I poured my whole self into it, but along the way, things weren't as I thought it would be, I was inexperienced, there was no support, very low patronage and all, that was how the business crumbled.

I felt ashamed of myself, I have disappointed myself. So, I just stopped, I stopped totally, not just the business, but I stopped dreaming or looking towards that direction, for me, such wasn't for me, I was not supposed to have even start it, that sort of business wasn't for someone like me.

Maybe I wasn't patient enough, maybe I couldn't wait, maybe that was why, maybe I would have been doing better now, who knows. Looking back now, I regret giving up. If I had stayed a little longer, if I had asked for help, if I had paused to learn instead of quitting, if I had done more research, if help and encouragement had been nearby, things might have been different.

By now, maybe I would have succeeded, who knows maybe I would have discovered a version of myself I didn’t know existed. But as at that time, I failed to see failure as a teacher, it was a final sentence.

There was also a season in my life when I did chose to stay and play it all out. As at this time, there was no hope of recovery in sight, but I still chose not to give up on myself. I was battling an health issue then. It forced me to stop my handwork, my studies was paused, my life was on hold, then it was all about surviving.

I underwent various surgeries and all, I was in pain, the best thing was just to give up, it was unbearable, I was losing not just time but myself, I was so weak and sincerely I had every reason to give up, but I stayed, I endured and I healed slowly. I was able to return to school, just graduated late last year. That was the time I understood that you can fall, but when you decide to remain grounded, then you've failed. So, I fell, but I refused to remain on the ground.

It was God that kept me going. I had this strong believe in God, if he decides not to keep me, fine but I won't give up. I trusted Him that my story won't end on the hospital bed and that my story will affect lives positively, healing and soothing the broken hearted. Thinking back now, I am glad I stood tall, what if I had give up, what if I had decided that was the end for me and trusting God, what if I had just taken my own life, who would be here sharing this.

It was during those tough times I got introduced to hive, and I’ve faced my fears too. I used to be scared of sharing my truth, what if no one reads it, what if they think am weak, what if they don't understand me, what if am not accepted what if am not enough, what if.......But well, I started all thanks to @vickoly. I started with fear, I kept on writing, engaging and connecting with people.

And through my stories on this wonderful platform, I found healing and connection. Well, I haven't tried doing a video/podcasting yet, I saw some communities do talks also, where you discuss on a particular topic and all, am yet to do that too because I’m scared my voice won’t carry the same weight as my written words. Am not sure yet, but maybe, that fear is the next mountain I’m meant to climb next.

Failure is a part of success, a success story won't hold much value, won't be interesting nor worth sharing without a recorded time of failure. And each time I fail, I learn, restrategize and stood up back, then I discover strength I didn’t know I had. Success is not about never failing, its you never allowing to remain grounded. If you are here and you've failed at something, don't give up, it's good that you've failed, it shows you've at least tried. The best thing to do is to check, restrategize and start again. Your breakout, breakthrough and success is the next story.

All pictures are mine.

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