If Feelings Had Words: The Language I Long To Speak.... LOH #240

Well, it seems my piece will be a little different from others, maybe because I run a whatsapp platform that touches on relationships and all other topics, I inspire, motivate, advice and all, there are days when we allow people ask questions regarding anything anonymously, post on my WhatsApp status and then people give their opinion and all... Now, let's dive into the prompt.

I speak only two languages fluently, that's English and Yoruba. But sometimes, I feel like I speak a hundred language. There's the language of hope I help speak to the mind of those that are breaking, there's the language of peace I speak to minds that are experiencing chaos too, I also speak silence, when I don't know how to explain my thoughts without being misunderstood.

Most of the times that I speak silence, it's because I don't know the right words in any language to describe what’s breaking inside, inside of me, in what language do I announce that I break too, In what way do I tell people that I need help as well, how exactly do I tell people that I who happen to stand for them, give them hope, advice them, help them and all is down too, that I need a shoulder to lean on as well. When I saw the topic for the prompt, this was what came to mind, and I just thought to let it out. It might possibly help a soul, I shouldn't go so deep, or write as everyone would about a particular language they would love.

English happens to be our official language in Nigeria, and if you could speak it well and fluently, then it meant you were intelligent, educated, and maybe better. So I tried my best to polish my accent, my dad happens to study English as well, he teaches it and all(he's now retired though). I read novels, watched foreign movies, and all, trying my best to just be good at it.

While speaking, a lot if us make mistakes, I happen to laugh at a friend sometimes ago because of a blunder hxe made, my mum who wasn't so learned was there as well, she cautioned me and said she's disappointed, she said I should have tried to understand his heart and the message he was trying to pass across and not just his grammar. It was then I got to understand that language is much more than vocabulary, and that it is a bridge, not a gate, that we atimes use it to build walls.

Talking about Yoruba, well I regret that now. I know how to speak it, and I very wDell understood it, but I could have done better, I was so focused on polishing my English and accent, I regret not asking more questions, not learning the proverbs, not paying attention to the weight behind our words and wise sayings. To say the truth, there's a kind of wisdom in yoruba that English can’t carry, there some sayings that you can't find the best words in English to communicate them. There are times that we speak or pray in English and just suddenly change it to our native language because it carries more weight.

So, more than anything, I would love to learn the emotional language, that which speaks to the heart, the one that helps you say exactly what you feel without fear, pride, or shame getting in the way. I wouldn't want to confuse you, but I believe you are following me, that's just the kind of language I would love to learn, it would help me run the stuff I run much more easily, I would be able to understand and speak to depressed/broken heart and sick mind.

A language where I’m fine doesn’t hide unshed tears, where I love you isn’t held back by ego, pride and all. Why I am choosing this type of language is because, I find out that we don't struggle much with learning a particular language, but we struggle with communicating the truth, our heart....the real thing.

Also, I have certain experiences of people walking away, not because they didn’t care, but because they didn’t know how to say it. I personally have kept pain inside of me for years simply because I didn’t have the best words/language to describe it. I have seen friendships died from too many things left unsaid. That is why I can't help but wonder how good it would have been to know how to communicate emotions the way we were taught other languages in school. If it were just possible for two friends or lovers to look each other in the eye and say....this is what you've done to hurt me without starting a fight or misunderstanding, we would have been able to express our fears more easily.

Maybe, what I am hoping for is impossible, maybe my imagination is not something that can come to reality, as I am even imagining people of different countries and language, all speaking, yet understanding each other. Where we can really hear and understand each other.

Let me end it here, I would love to learn. There’s something romantic and soft about it....Je t’aime how does that sound, romantic right. I also would love to learn some of my countries language, there are a lot of language in Nigeria, but I would love to learn Hausa and Ibo. I want to hear their stories in their voice and stop being a stranger in my own country.

Much more than that, I want to speak the kind of language that open minds, that heals, that comforts, one that doesn't just translate but transform relationships, give hope to the hopeless, help the helpless, mend the brokenhearted and speaks peace to storms.

I know it's not the type that is being taught in our schools, but life teaches too, what led me to this and what I do on my WhatsApp is as a result of what life taught and show me. So, as we are all a work in progress, I'm still learning too.

All pictures are mine, the second and fourth picture are screenshots of my whatsapp status, while the third picture is a screenshot of the anonymous stuff I run.

Thanks a lot for taking your time to read through, kindly do well to stop by my blog for more exclusive contents.

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