From Admiration To Realization: My Personal Experience.

There was a time I used to think some people were perfect, untouchable, full of wisdom and that nothing could taint them. I won't want to mention the name, but this particular person is somehow who back then I believe he has figured everything out, and I look up to him. Whatever he says, to me, is always right, if he acts I believe it was the best thing for that situation, and even if his action seem questionable, I made excuses for him. He must have a reason, he knows better than me. I mean...he couldn't be wrong?

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Life as it always does, it came around and dis it thing, I began heating things I was not supposed to, I saw things am not supposed to see, this person I had placed on a place so high started becoming someone I am unsure of, I saw that he was also human and has his own flaws, he's struggling just like everyone of us. The first time I see him lied and denied what I was there when it happened was the first time I started seeing him differently, I could have ignored it if it had come from anyone else, but it came from him, he lied. It unsettled me, but I decided to brush it off, maybe I just misunderstood things.

But, such won't stop happening, I started seeing, witnessing, and hearing things. A voice that once felt like home now sounded like a strangers own. The worst part is, I still want to believe him and hold on to that version of him that was present in my head. I fought with myself, twisted my own logic, tried to make sense of what was happening. But the truth regardless of your feelings will always be there knocking, you just have to accept it.

The moment I realized that the person I looked up to had built his image on the trust and admiration of others, I was hurt, how could he, of all people, him, but each time he talked, each time he acts, he's always different, behind closed doors, he was something else entirely. I found out it wasn't a mistake nor a moment of weakness for him, it was him, that's his pattern. When I realized it, I couldn't unrealize it. I wasn't angry at him though, but I was disappointed. Now, I know that nobody deserved to be put on a pedestal, no matter how wise, kind, successful and all the person his, if he's capable of good things he's capable of otherwise too, we are all just human, he can be selfish, deceptive and all.

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And that changed some things in me, I became more discerning and cautious, I don't just conclude on you just by mere seeing your fave or seeing you around. When you stop idolizing people, you start trusting yourself more. You start realizing that you also have a voice, a mind, and a perspective that matters, and that, just because someone is older, richer, or more experienced doesn’t mean they are always right. Most times, who you should look up to is your own older self, that which you are becoming.

I don’t hate him, and I don’t even resent him. I even respect him and thank him for teaching me a valuable lesson...I have learnt too respect people, learn from them and never to forget that just as I am human, they are too. Sometimes, the person you once admired is the very reason you learn to stand on your own.

There are various entries organized by @leogrowth.
This post is in collaboration with the @SciFi-Multiverse community and an entry to day 27 of #marchinleo in #inleo,I am inviting you to also check it out,so as to partake in various interesting writing prompts.

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