On a rainy afternoon ✨
On a rainy afternoon
I visualize from my window, how the afternoon falls, in a stormy sky. The squall, disconcerted and maddened, with discourtesy invades with its native and untamed fury. With greed and contempt, the atmosphere is torn, and there are no more sunset colors. Leaden and puffy clouds, with appetizing interest, attack the firmament.
The celestial vault explodes and roars in resounding clamors, with lightning flashes that exhale shocking sparks. An enraged and delirious wind grumbles, shaking trees and bushes with possession. Aged and dejected leaves collapse forming a huge and colorful blanket.
I distinguish in the distance, how the lights flicker and agonize in the pearly and soft fog. The sky, on the contrary, seeks balance and peace of mind in the attack, in courtship, and as a gift releases one of its most precious riches, the raindrops.
The rain, the revelry, and the merriment of the celestial kingdom. Beautiful sparks, light and graceful, of sublime style, who with exquisiteness are stamped and chiseled, against the ground. The roofs ring with these mysterious and crazy dancers. Fun and skillful, they use the leaves as trampolines, over and over again. They are the humidity that invades everything in its path.
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Photo by Karen Nadine on Pixabay
I see and feel from my window, how the raindrops slide down. Longings stir in this tormented and anguished soul, your memories invade my solitude like rain. You disturb my stillness, murmuring purrs, intimate, mysterious, and daring. You are my most hidden and masked secret.
You disconcert my thoughts with your disembodied presence, you shake my heart, in an unusual and extravagant swaying, as only your being can do. You snake my emotions like the voracious wind, on a fateful night, random and restless.
With shrewdness and cunning, you exasperate my nostalgia. I would give my life to tell you, but cowardice subdues me and invades me assiduously.
I often ask myself "Do you realize how my eyes shine when I see you? How do I tremble and blush at your side?" I seek to identify signs but I can't find them, I get lost alone in my deserts and vagueness. If only you would reciprocate... maybe yes, maybe no... You, my chimerical motivation, my delirium in the entelechy, my galaxy in the immensity, which I may never be able to reach.
You are essence in attributes, with captivating and seductive energy. You exude an unrelenting masculinity with your appearance and presence. Everything about you is decisiveness, integrity, and tenacity. You are the epitome of intelligence, probity, and commitment. I admire that endearing child in you, the one that makes you trepid and sparkle with jocularity, in your surprising witticisms, with your good sense of humor.
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Photo by Jill Burrow on Pexels
Your eyes are a genetic perfection, exquisitely rounded, generous, and kind. Black as the Cat's Eye Escapolita, with iridescent reflections in the light, saturated with inner harmony. But at nightfall they are enigmatic, incomprehensible, and mysterious, plundering my battered sanity with your gaze in an inscrutable, invasive, stealthy, and suggestive way.
You bewitch me with your smile, you hook me with those dimples that give life to your cheeks and trigger my passions with haste. Your voice, of abysmal depth, exudes power and sensual appeal. It is resonant and commanding, a primer that caresses and seduces my ears, that persuades and skillfully wobbles my equilibrium.
On one occasion, as I recall, we were leaving work one summer afternoon, as we walked and the cool breeze frolicked frantically, tangling my hair. You smiled with exquisite grace, brushing a lock of hair away from my face and tucking it behind one of my ears, your mimosa subtlety electrified my whole body.
You are my weakness, my distinguished and exquisite pleasure, you riot my peace, you enliven my soul in love, and I am your invisible prisoner in the silence. You smell of sweet awakening and stormy nights. There are so many things to say about you, and also so many things to discover, uncertainty wanders, and desires assault with exorbitant curiosity.
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Photo by Andre Furtado on Pexels
My bellicose essence, tries with agony and almost extinct, to find answers, but they do not appear, my strength is exhausted. You are the man I want, who maybe doesn't want me. You are my unreachable dream, always together, but at the same time so far away. I wander day by day and night by night, without you my deferred divinity, with the torment of not having you.
On this rainy afternoon, famished for company, uber-brimming fantasies well up inside me. I ask the shimmering and restless raindrops "Who will you be with? Who will be making you happy? Or on the contrary, will you be thinking of me?" My soul is at a crossroads, whether to continue or to let itself be defeated and give up for good. My reason hallucinates, in the mysteries of thinking, in the silence that longs for you... If only you would give me a sign.
Thank you very much @pixresteemer for your support.
I love the way you're able to balance your choice of words in captivating description yet, ensuring the message is undiluted .
Hopefully he'll give a sign to satiate the longing that saturates the soul
Greetings my dear friend @jjmusa2004 I am always pleased and very grateful for your comforting and kind words to my productions. Thank you very much.
Happy day to you 🤗
You're welcome dear friend
What a dazzling and explicit way, to describe a burning secret love, greetings 🤗.
Hello @inessita thank you for your beautiful and exquisite words to my production. Thank you for the deference of reading my writing.
Happy day to you 🙂☀️
Greetings, @marilour. You bring us a beautiful text, poetic, full of beautiful metaphors and beautifully adjectivized. However, the text lacks indispensable elements that allow us to consider it as a story. In principle in a story there are distinct moments. There is a beginning, a development and an end. Between the beginning and the end something must happen that changes the initial state of the protagonist(s). Your emphasis on the poetic prevents you from developing the actions and incorporating dialogues. We make this observation so that you consider planning the plots of your stories a more efficient way to handle yourself in the genre. We appreciate your presence in the community and hope to continue reading your good stories.
Greetings @theinkwell I always look forward to feedback, through your valuable comments and considerations.
In this participation, the skill challenge was to develop a great main character. I decided to realize a soliloquy where the girl incited by the rain, in her reverie, triggers a series of descriptions of the man she longs for and is not there. It is descriptive and linear where there is no dialogue. From your comment, it is clear that the idea thought out and executed was flawed and wrong.
This event made me think and rethink my actions over and over again. I am an advocate and respectful of the rules. In re-reading the community rules, the non-acceptance of poetry is very clearly expressed.
My participation in this respectful community has not been very extensive, I would say that I am in its beginnings. They are a team of experts with a long trajectory, with enough knowledge to identify the style of each participant throughout the participation.
I would say that their knowledge of the subject is so broad that they can determine sudden and unexpected changes in style, which would make them suspect ambiguities in the originality of the person who expresses his authorship. Because the style of each participant leaves indelible and indissoluble traces, which to expert eyes are easily identifiable and verifiable.
Despite my short transit, I believe that I have already externalized the accentuated tendency in my lyrics, of a lyrical and poetic style. It is undeniable, poetry is a strong influence on me, I live it, I feel it.
Now, when I write soliloquies, in the speech I express their purpose, thoughts, and emotions, almost always devoid of dialogue. But reflecting on this leads the writing to a thin and invisible line, which will depend on the view of the observer and the reader. For some, it will be creative writing for others poetic prose. If so, I would be breaking their rules.
Grateful, because this situation makes me think, order ideas, and redirect.
Thank you very much for your considerations.
Happy week.
We are very grateful for your response, @marilour. It is a comprehensive and thoughtful response that tends to the understanding of our reasons. Your work is very beautiful. It is a very sensitive monologue, a beautiful demonstration of poetry done in prose. In no way flawed or erroneous. We hope your understanding spirit will excuse the need to standardize the entries clearly, even at the risk of mistaking the author's intent. We look forward to reading your stories. Please accept our consideration.
Very grateful for your answer @theinkwell, as a society, the rules are necessary and allow us to know what is authorized and what is not. This helps, enriches, and strengthens the healthy organization for better coexistence.
For my part my thanks to you, for the opportunities dispensed and for allowing me to enjoy my style in creative writing. It is something new that I am experiencing and I am enjoying it pleasantly. I believe that both can understand each other and get along well, respecting their particularities.
I must be more careful and precise in my participation, so as not to cross the fine line.
Happy that understanding flowed, thanks 🤗✨
Your words paint a vivid and passionate picture of longing and desire. Your ability to capture emotions and sensations is truly remarkable. Keep expressing yourself through your writing, for it has the power to touch hearts and souls. Remember, even in the midst of uncertainty, your words hold the strength to inspire and connect with others. Stay true to your creative spirit and let it guide you towards new horizons. Believe in the power of your voice, and may it lead you to the answers and signs you seek.
Greetings my dear friend. What a pleasure your visit to my writing and your wonderful words. Thank you for your wise advice, it is appreciated. As you say writing is an expression, it is externalizing feelings and emotions, it generates happiness if you transmit it to others.
What a profound and philosophical thought, grateful for this gift, I sincerely appreciate it.
Happy and healthy week.
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