Talk It Out Not Sex It Out - WE #208

Going on first dates can be exciting, and also nerve racking especially if you do not know what to expect or do, more especially if it's the first time of seeing each other. I'm sure some of you will agree to this. Of all the things to do on on a first date, I don't think sex should be one of it. Don't raise your eyes up yet, I'll explain 😅.

I see first date as a time of fact finding, sort of, lol. I call it fact finding because it's when you have the opportunity to explore whether or not there's potentials to be in a relationship with the person.
You may have known a couple of things about the person before then via phone calls, chat or might have seen a couple of times, but a date is a date.
It is where you ask those important questions like - "their interests, hobbies, goals and aspirations, including studies, if any, career or business and future plans. Family and friends, religious beliefs, social life, values", just anything that will give you a clue of who they really are.

Asking these questions is a way of showing that you're interested in the person and want to learn more about him or her. And who wouldn't want to be with anyone who's interested in them.
Not only that, it will help you decide whether to take the next step, which is the dating proper where sex can come in or abort mission, lol.

I know some people will jump in the wagon of sex on a first date, that's entirely okay, I won't fault them neither am I saying that it is wrong but I don't think it's a great idea. It can come with risks and a bit of complications, especially if the persons involved aren't on the same page about what they want from the relationship.

Remember, you may not have enough information about this person to know if they're safe to be intimate with. What if the person has sexually transmitted disease or even HIV/AIDS and in the heat of the moment, you sleep with him or her without protection, that's not safe, putting your health at risk. Okay how about the possibility of a pregnancy occurring since there was no protection?

You may ask, what about using protection, again there are ways to take care of the pregnancy? I know one can use protection but they aren't 100% safe. Of course, one can easily take care of the pregnancy, that too might come with complications.
The only safe thing to do is to prioritize your physical and emotional safety, don't do it until you're sure that you can handle whatever that comes out of it.

It's understandable that both of were so attracted to each other such that you can't help having sex on a first date. Looking at it, it's already established that, or would I say, it has created a feeling of expectation that the relationship is going to be a sexual one onwards. But if on a second thought you feel unsure about pursuing a sexual relationship with the person, this can also lead to confusion and hurt feelings. Another complication.

Again, since you're getting to know the person, you might not be emotionally prepared for that closeness and attachment that come with having sex. Sex is not just about getting down with someone, it involves both physical and emotional connection and it can be complicating if after having sex on a first date, you later find out that both of you aren't compatible. Instead of ending it, you decide to stay because you don't want to hurt the person's feelings. You are complicating your life and that of the other person's. and that's not a good idea.

I see sex on a first date as a fling or a hook up with and not something that's going to lead to a serious affair. I may be wrong, but that's my view. It might be cool with some people but not for me. I need to be sure that I want go into a relationship with the date before giving in to sex, that's if I will. And that's why having that heart to heart talk is so vital.

Thank you for reading,...

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