How Old Is Maturity

“The grey hair is a sign of wisdom”

That is one proverb I grew up with. I never lived with both my parents together. I lived with my dad when I was a kid but the rest of my teenage years into adulthood I have lived with different people.

That proverb was common in the area I grew up in. Used mostly to teach young children the importance of respecting elders. Yes, I agree, grey hair suppose to be a sign of experience and wisdom. However, not everyone is able to learn wisdom from their experiences.

One of my cousins, with whom I shared her family home and my childhood with acted so foolishly that I can say that maturity isn't in one's age. One can grow older but not wiser. She is over a decade and half older than I am.

She has this thing with temper that clouds her judgement especially when she takes an offense or a situation personal. There is no wall she won't tear down just to get her pound of flesh. Many times she's been counseled but nothing seems to get into her mind. Her temper comes like a spirit. And people started to say she is possessed. But I disagree. I had stayed with her long enough to know better. She won't really react unless she feels personally involved or directly offended.

There is this lady who moved into the spare apartment in the compound. A woman in her early fifties I guess, but she's unmarried and has no children either. Quite an industrious lady but with a lousy attitude and a childish demeanor.

My cousin and the woman are water and oil. They dislike each other. Her lousy attitude pisses off my cousin. But the lady doesn't give a darn. She had a first day altercation with my cousin which left a negative first impression on my cousin. They didn't start off on the right footing. And my cousin has not been able to forgive the woman nor forget the incidence.

Many times, I have tried to talk her out of it but her photographic memory won't let any counsel erase such personal data. However, for a long time they didn't have any fight, and were starting to get along.

Or so I thought.

Then one Sunday morning, just when I was about to leave for church, they started a quarrel.
The lady came to spread her clothes on the line outside the main building. My cousin was washing her clothes, and was about to throw away the dirty water on the nearby dry patch of ground to moist the earth. Accidentally, the woman walked into the spot and the water poured on her legs. And all hell was let loose on my cousin. She apologized initially, but the woman wasn't pacified. One careless word opened old wounds and hell increased it fury.

I had to stay back a while to calm both of them. Other people came out to pacify both parties. Because I was running late for church, I had to take my cousin aside and try speak some senses into her.

“Sis,” I said. “You know today is Sunday and you should be getting ready for church. You didn't intentionally pour dirty water on that woman. Besides, you apologized for it, that should do.”

“Ehen, so because today is Sunday and I apologized, is that why she should raise her voice at me and call me names?”

“No, Sis. That's not my point. What I mean is that you had plans to go to church today. Didn't you?”

“Yes?”

“So you shouldn't let anyone or anything ruin this day for you. Please, just ignor her and pretend that nothing happened. You will need a good mood for church.”

“Hmm. Is that so?” She asked rhetorically.

“Yes, please.” I answered convinced my words had had an impact on her.

“Ok. I have heard you. It is well.” She said, convincingly.

I left her just then hoping she would let it go.

When I returned from church in the afternoon, I was told there was a serious fight just after I had left for church. My cousin was the one who went back to the woman to settle old and new scores which ended up in a physical fist fight.

Honestly, I was totally disappointed in my cousin. A lady in her mid forties does not know how to let things go for the sake of peace? That was totally disappointing.

She may not have gray hairs yet, but the other woman had started having some. She could have respected that at least.
The other woman too is a good example that not all gray hair are signs of wisdom. Even some elderly act childishly.

I don't know how old is old enough to become an elder. But forty and fifty are old enough to be mature.

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