With these skin care why do I still feel dry, old and ugly after I became a Mom? Whose fault was it? Still me with my attitude.

I look like forty!, I told myself while staring at my reflection. I remembered reading an article that it takes two years for a woman's hormones to be back to normal after pregnancy. Yet, I couldn't help but to wonder how others bounce back after months of delivery. Perhaps they had money to buy for skin care, pay for nannies and someone to do things for them. That makes them have plenty of time or could be they are really beautiful. Born that way in their genes.

As for me I feel dry and aged, could I still bring back the old me? That keeps on lingering in my mind while cleaning earlier and after a couple of minutes I realized that;

• It's me and my toxic behavior. Honestly speaking, was it only me who feels tired but doesn't like the idea of leaving my baby in others care? Not only once did the husband offer that we should get a helper for my convenience. Someone who will take care of Caleb for a while so I could rest and sleep. Thus, I declined as I am worried he won't receive the same care from me.

Okay, what about someone who does the household chores? Laundry, cleaning and cooking? he said.

Eh, I don't like my clothes to be washed by strangers unless it's my family. Cooking? the trust issues in me due to some posts and videos I saw online. All his sister's are working too so I had no one in my mind.

So, here I am, always tired because of it. The bags under my eyes never left, instead getting bigger day by day due to lack of sleep.

Why not rest when your son is asleep? I can't have peace knowing our house was messy.

Complaining of getting dry and feeling ugly? Seemed my fault too.

• Kept on buying skin care but no consistency.

Found these face cream I bought last year because the sales lady said it was good for dark spots. Yet, after a few days of using it, I forgot about it. Only now I had remembered but sadly it's already expired.

I even had day cream and toner that I wasn't able to resist upon seeing at the counter one time in the drugstore while buying Caleb's milk. At least , half of the bottle was used.

Facial wash?

But now I was thinking why I bought a different brand? Shouldn't skin care be?

I delivered my son via CS and the operation scar doesn't look nice (keloid). You can buy Bio Oil, I saw several influencers endorsing it. They say it's also good for stretch marks. My husband suggests; he is always supportive.

That was a year ago and this one has been there in the bathroom all that time.

My skin was so dry!

Okay, I'll buy you lotions. Husband said and truly he sent a few bottles the last time he was home.

What happened, it was only resting in a tray, dusty and untouched. Not that he brought a lot but most of the time I didn't even apply lotion.

Perhaps, it would be much better if I took vitamin E. Told myself while shopping at Watsons with @asiaymalay that the last time she was home (April to be exact). Each bottle has 30 capsules good for a month and it's August now. I think I had at least three 🤣.

Going into feeling old, last night I finally remembered the hydrating Serum mask I Asia gave me.

Had one applied on my face and somehow I felt good, lol. Now, what I need is a lot of self convincing that no matter how tired I am, I need to get up. Apply skin care (need to decide which brand).

And it was a relief that I am still normal. Thanks for sharing your thoughts @wittyzell and marse @romeskie .

As a Mom, all I want is to take care of my son, without getting tired. Then I had my own money while having plenty of time with him and still looked fresh. Right Romeskie?

What about Mommies here? Do you feel the same?

Lead image was edited using Canva
Photos are mine