LOH 260 // Overcoming Self-Doubt in My Marriage

Self-doubt doesn’t always show up loudly, it often whispers and that whispering is always scary. For me, one of the most personal battles with self-doubt came not in a classroom I don't feel that and it's not from the workplace because I have confidence in my ability, but it creep in within my own marriage.

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When we first got married, I was excited and in love so much that it felt like a first love, but I also carried quiet fears. I began to question whether I was truly “enough” for this lifelong commitment. Was I emotionally mature enough? Would I be able to communicate the right way? What if I failed at being a good partner and a mother, what if others sees the worst of me?

These questions weren’t about my spouse, they were all about me. I started to doubt if I could be the kind of partner I believed they deserved. Every argument, no matter how small, would make me feel like I wasn’t cut out for marriage. I would overthink everything I said, and when things got tough, I’d wonder if I was failing.

But what I’ve learned is that doubt thrives in silence and isolation. The turning point came not from pretending everything was okay when it's not, but from choosing to be vulnerable and honest and that should start with myself, and then with my partner. I remember one night sitting down and saying, “I’m scared. I don’t always know what I’m doing, and I worry I’m not good at this.” I expected judgment or frustration. What I received instead was compassion.

Then I realised that conversation changed everything. It opened the door to deeper communication and reminded me that marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about partnership. It’s about showing up even when you’re unsure, and learning how to grow together.

From there,, I began to shift my mindset. Instead of seeing mistakes or misunderstandings as signs that I wasn’t enough, I began to see them as an opportunities to learn more about myself, my spouse, and how we could love each other better. I realized that self-doubt wasn’t a weakness, it was a signal that I cared deeply and wanted to do well. But it didn’t have to control me.

Overcoming self-doubt in my marriage didn’t happen overnight. It still tries to sneak in sometimes, especially during hard moments. But now, I know how to face it. I know I’m not alone in the journey, and that real strength comes from being honest, being willing to grow, and choosing love even when I’m unsure.

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