Worst days never ends

Bad days gives you experience while Good days gives you joy but both are essential to a successful life

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everybody passes through bad times, and some days would be so bad that you would think you woke up on the wrong side of your bed

well I would come out clean and blunt on this one, I had bad days this last month
i kind of have a problem of getting hold of myself, I mean it's like I don't know who I am anymore,

it's really hard getting over the past especially one who affects your every decisions today.

one of the worst day for me this past January is the day I got a call from my junior sister that my elder brothers wedding introduction will be on the 27th of January 2024.

I mean it was supposed to be a good news but it quickly turned the other way around for me, because I have always thought' since when I was a kid that nothing on earth would make me miss any event especially wedding related events of my family

but I guess I was wrong, I couldn't even call him on phone to tell him that his beloved junior brother would not be at his wedding introduction ceremony.

I know you may be wandering that what type of person does that to his family

I couldn't go because I am like the prodigal son who left home at an early age, told by many people including my family that I am just wasting my time going away from home in search of a better future
some even told me that I will just come back home the way I left home, that's with nothing.

me being in my own self inflicted exile, learning about life a little have realized that what people say to me when I left home or even if I return home unsuccessful, doesn't really count it's what I think about my self that matters

I didn't go home all this while not because of what people have said in the past, I honestly don't care again about what people will have to say
I made a personal promise to myself that I will be a man before I return home, that's discovering what to die for, changing the lives of my family and people I don't know, but its been taking me more than a while
I know I I'm a little lost as of now, which makes it the more reason I was very sad the day that call came in, it's gonna take a while to get myself back on track but I know deep down inside me that I'm closer than ever

though the celebration has been done but that day the call came in marked my worst day in January

thanks for your time.