Handling Toxic People At Work
If you've never worked with a toxic person before, congrats - you're either working alone, extremely lucky, unemployed, or you might be the toxic one.
Let's be honest: the workplace can be a strange place. One minute you're focused on your work, doing your best. Next minute, someone is giving you an attitude like you stole their lunch or their destiny.
Over the years, I've seen all kinds:
The "supervisor" who isn't actually a supervisor but tries to control everyone like the office belongs to their ancestors.
The one who reports everything - right down to how long you stretched your legs, how long you breathe at you desk and how many spoons of rice you ate at lunch.
The one who barely does any work but is somehow always the loudest during meetings.
And of course, the classic: the one who says "it's not personal, it's just work" after insulting your entire existence and bloodline.
But you know what I've learned? You don't fight crazy with crazy. You let crazy run laps while you sit somewhere calm, drinking water, and minding your business.
But sometimes, it goes beyond attitude - it turns to full-on madness.
Let me tell you what happened just yesterday.
I was laughing with a fellow colleague about something funny. Completely harmless. Out of nowhere, another fellow colleague (who wasn't even part of the conversation) turned and said "You're acting like you're the madam of the office"
Excuse me? Where did that come from?
I was confused, but I calmly replied "Please face your laptop and mind your work"
Apparently, that one sentence hit him in the soul, because with all seriousness, he said, "I will slap you."
I didn't react. I didn't raise my voice, even as he went on with all the ways he was going to slap me. I just looked at him, surprised he had that much audacity on a Wednesday afternoon. A few minutes passed, and guess what? He came back again, shouting, insulting, and ranting like I insulted his bloodline.
I simply picked up my earpiece, plugged it in (was I listening to music? No), and stared into the distance like I was streaming peace - just to signal, "I'm not available for nonsense."
He was fuming. Meanwhile, I looked like I was chilling on a beach somewhere. That's the energy we're keeping this year.
And this isn't even the worst drama of my workplace.
I've been working here for about 4years now (going to the university, and resuming work when I'm home for semester breaks and holidays), so I've seen my share of madness. Especially when it comes to our boss's wife.
Drama, power trips, wild office politics - everything. To cut things short, let's just say people don't always treat others well when they think they're untouchable. But when the table turns, guess who they call first.
Me. Because I'm "nice". Or maybe just too polite to say no.
What I've Learned About Surviving Toxic Coworkers Without Catching a Case:
1. Smile Like You Don't Know They're Crazy
You know that polite, peaceful smile you give your aunt when she's asking uncomfortable questions? That's the one. Use it. Toxic people expect you to explode. Confuse them with grace.
2. Don't Enter Their Drama
Engaging with them is like arguing with someone who believes the Earth is flat. You'll waste your time, your energy, and probably some brain cells. You'll tire yourself out, and they'll still be there, just as annoying. Stay classy, not crazy. You're not paid to argue. You're paid to work. Let them talk to themselves in circles.
3. Keep Evidence Like You're Building a Netflix Documentary
If it gets serious, start gathering receipts like you're preparing a court case. Screenshots. Dates. Witnesses. Don't just say "he insulted me." Say "At 2:47pm, he said... and I quote... 'I will slap you'". Silence is golden, but proof is power.
4. Guard Your Mental Space
Take your breaks. Go outside. Listen to music. Medidate if you need to. You're not a machine. Your peace is priority. Don't share your energy with someone who's draining your soul.
5. Know When To pack Your Bags And Your Sanity
If the drama starts affecting your mental health, it's time to exit the group chat - literally. No job is worth anxiety, migraines, or waking up everyday like it's Judgement day.
Honestly, working with toxic people is like being stuck in a badly-written reality show you didn't audition for. But with humor, patience, and an invisible playlist on your earpiece, you can survive it - and even laugh about it later.
And if all fails?
Just remember: you're not alone. We're all silently screaming into our pillows too. Some of us are here plugging in earpieces we're not even using - just for peace and petty balance.
Images are mine
When I was preparing a law suit against my ex (which luckily never had to happen), I was thinking all the time: "One day I'm going to take all her shit and turn it into a soap opera, it's going to make me millions. And I'm going to give her half of that." She probably wouldn't even get the insult in that.
I like the Kung Fu teaching of being empty. When you get hit, but you're not there, you don't get hit. Sounds kind of obvious, but actually refers to your energy (chi in case of Kung Fu). When you're insulted, but you don't take it as an insult, you don't receive the energy. The insulting person is stuck with it. You seem to have that teaching down to perfection. Wish you all the best with that workplace!
Wow, thank you. That Kung Fu perspective really stuck with me - "If you don't receive the insult, the other person is stuck with it". I never saw it that way, but it makes total sense. I'm still learning to stay calm in the middle of chaos, but I'm getting better at it.
And about the soap opera - trust me, my workplace has its own spin off. Our boss had to sack his wife (now his ex-wife), served her court papers, and told us not to deal with her. But somehow, I'm still the one she calls. I've even done some work for her using office stuffs (oops), and now she wants me to come to her place to teach her graphics since she not allowed near the office.
I don't even know what to do at this point - part of me wants to help, the other part is like "stay out of it" what would you do? @beelzael
Also, your soap opera idea cracked me up - and the fact that you'd give her half? That's savage and generous at the same time.
Appreciate the good wishes.
The direct approach of saying "no" might make enemies, and one never knows how the court decides. So maybe a mix of a "I'd really like to help, but I can't." Depending on what your situation is - if you need this job/money, you can use that as an argument, that you can't risk it.
It all comes down to what you think is the right thing to do. If you think helping her is the right thing to do, go ahead. If you think that's not moral, try to explain it to her in a way that she can understand.
For example, if she wants you to do all that while on the other companies payroll, then I wouldn't do it. Even if she pays you apart, it's still a conflict of interests.
Really needed to here that - thank you.
I've been caught between my "be a decent human" Instincts and the very real "Please don't get fired" voice in my head. You're absolutely right - it's not always about saying yes or no, it's about how you say it. I'm leaning towards the graceful "I'd love to help, but I really can't afford to risk my job" route. Calm. Professional, with just enough dramatic sighing to sell it off.
And yeah, the whole thing is already a bit of a gray area - especially when office resources have accidentally entered the chat. Not my proudest moment, but here we are.
Really appreciate your take on this. You've got that mysterious-comment-section-wise-guy energy, always showing up with helpful insights. Respect. ✌️🫱👤
Glad I could help! It's always easier from a neutral perspective, without any emotions involved. If it would happen to, me I'd probably be in the same pickle :-D
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@kristabel123 may this give you some ideas!
I deal with toxic people by absolutely FCKIN with them at work.
Swap the sugar with salt...so the next time they make tea or coffee it's game over for their tongue.
Hide the butter in the fridge...people in England love their toast...i hide the butter and jams...and the knives...even if they find the butter...they are forced to use a spoon to spread the butter. If i'm feeling especially adventurous i will only give them forks.
I also hide the tissue paper, so they can't wipe their mouth.
I also mess with their internet USB dongle or wired cables...i unplug their internet cables WHAT IT WASNT MEEEEEEEE I SWEEEAR!!!
I also like to dump smelly stuffs near where my colleagues work (i worked in a kitchen for a looong time...i know how to hide smelly food and then re-materialize them at certain locations....ever tried rotten eggs behind the toilet seat?)
damn bro you're evil
Remind me never to get on your bad side - you're a whole chaotic force of nature. I don't know whether to be impressed or slightly terrified... leaning towards impressed. 🚶♂️
If you need any ideas, contact me, i will share with you some of the things i learnt from Sun Tzu Art of War.
Lol, I'll keep you on speed dial... strictly for educational purpose of course.
[Verse 1]
You know that we do take-away
We deliver too
Open twenty-four hours, babe
Just waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you
[Verse 2]
Well, I'm in the Yellow Pages
You just take a look
Look me up under Services
You know it's just an open book
Babe, it's just an open book, yeah
It's just an open book, but baby
[Chorus]
Any minute, any hour
I'm waiting on a call from you
And you know this heart is constant
I'm your lover, baby, through and through
Lover, baby, through and through
[Verse 3]
I only found out yesterday
I heard it on the news
What I heard really pissed me off
'Cause now I got those fucking blues
Yeah, I got those awesome blues
Babe, I got those nothing blues
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[Chorus]
But any minute, any hour
I'm waiting on a call from you
And you know this heart is constant, babe
I'm your lover, baby, through and through
Your lover, baby, through and through
[Verse 1]
You know that we do take-away
But we deliver too
We're open twenty-four hours, baby
But we're waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you
[Outro]
Ooh but any minute, baby, any hour
I'm waiting on a call from you
Yeah, you know that this heart is constant
I'm your lover, baby, through and through
Lover, baby, through and through
Yeah, lover, baby, through and through
I was your lover, baby, through and through
Baby, through and through, oh yeah
Open twenty-four hours for you
Ooh, it's under Services
I'm waiting, waiting on a call from you
Waiting on a call from you