The other side of unavailability we don't talk about

Whenever the subject of availability comes up, people often talk about how their availability has been taken for granted, but they rarely talk about how they themselves have been unavailable to others. Yes, it is supposed to be a double-edged thing because we are humans, and we cannot claim to be right all the time. There are people who want us to be there for them, but we are never seen on the scene, always with one excuse or another.

I decided to come out like this because I knew that a lot of entries would focus on how people have taken their availability for granted and would never talk about how people want to see their brake light but have never seen it. I am a victim, and I am not going to lie about that.

Availability does not only mean being around to offer help; it could simply mean making your presence available for someone to talk about life, seek guidance by sharing life experiences, and so on. In fact, as I typed this, I felt more guilty remembering how a friend who had just finished serving the country (NYSC) sent me her CV to help her check if the content was in order. Although I told her that I was not in the right state of mind to do that at the moment and promised to forward it to a female friend who has experience in recruitment, that was where I stopped.

Yes, I forwarded it to the friend, and up till today, I have never remembered to ask for feedback so I could relay it to my friend who was seeking help. You know what? I know she must be feeling rejected, abandoned, or whatever word can be used to categorise the pain. I know I already messed up by not returning to explain how things played out. I feel bad, and at the same time, a lot of things have occupied my mind lately, making it very hard to walk into someone’s DM to explain things.

So you see that kind of situation? That friend must really have been feeling bad about my sudden unavailability towards her. And as for me, everything that happened was not intentional, it is just life. I have also come to understand that whenever we feel neglected by people, we should not take it to heart because a lot of things are happening in people’s lives, and we do not always know.

So tell me, do you want to tell me that you have never offended someone through your unintended unavailability? Of course, you cannot say no to that.

Thanks for reading.

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