Let's scrap off cake presentation from wedding ceremony

Greetings everyone!

I've attended many wedding functions, both in my neighborhood and outside it. Most of them have been cool and entertaining, but some have been less enjoyable, leaving me hissing all through the event.

If I had my way, one function in a wedding ceremony that I would like to permanently ban is the cake presentation. Oh my God! Whenever it reaches that part, I always plug my headphone and increase the volume to avoid hearings all the fake show, yeah, I mean the fake, crammed and well rehearsed speeches and singing.

I used to think I was the only one who found it uninteresting, until I posted about it on my WhatsApp status. A lady commented, applauding my suggestion to scrap it from wedding ceremonies. I was surprised to see a lady displeased with it because I thought it was something women liked. However, she said the whole drama is unnecessary and time-consuming, that she would prefer to use the time to dance and get sprayed than putting up the fake lovey-dovey show. Lol😅

In case the cake presentation is different in your city, let me describe how it's done in the weddings I've attended.

When it's time for cake presentation and cutting, the cake designer comes out, grabs the microphone, and starts singing a well-rehearsed song, which is probably the same song used in all the cake presentations for the particular person.
The singing is often off-key and irritating, lasting for minutes, and even when the performance is subpar, people still clap.
After the song, the cake designer turns prophetic, offering prayers. While praying isn't bad, it becomes problematic when they start praying strange prayers that people cheer for, such as;

• "All those gathered in the coven to cause trouble in this marriage... Holy Ghooooooost Fireeeeeeee!"
• "May anyone planning evil against this couple not see the day they give birth, let the fire fire from the middle of heaven fall down and consume them"

The crowd responds with enthusiastic amens (Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeen!) louder than you'd hear in a large church auditorium.

Next comes the feeding ritual, where the couples feed each other amidst comments like, "Let's see how he's going to feed her when they get home." This part is not just talk; under the instruction of the cake designer, the couples go through the feeding process, which can be time-consuming. The man sits while the woman cuts the cake, gets a drink, and then feeds him, followed by the reverse.
This whole process of cake presentation can take up to an hour, sometimes even two if the cake presenter is very lousy with too many unnecessary talks.

When it's my turn to get married, I'm going to bribe my wife to skip the cake saga altogether. Let's just cut the cake, spell out "Jesus" or "Love," and get back to our seats so the party can continue.

For the married people that passed through this stage, did you like it or or you frowned at it and just did it because it's a normal ritual on wedding ground? Tell me, I'd like to know.

Thanks for reading.

_{This is my entry to Hivenaija prompt of the week}

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