Happy today, trouble tomorrow

Greetings everyone!

Life can be funny sometimes. Sometimes the mind feels relaxed without trouble, and just in a couple of days, weeks, or months, it starts beating hard again, restless and full of anxiety.
All through last month, I decided to tackle most of the things that had been giving me some disturbing thoughts, and it worked perfectly well. Ever since then, things had been going well until the middle of this month when life decided to behave like life. I have been really restless since that time, and it surprises me because what's troubling me is something I had vowed never to allow into me.

It's not bragging, but after my NYSC days, I decided never to be involved in any church leadership, no matter what level, because during NYSC, my mental health was toyed with a lot when I took up a big religious leadership role.

Earlier this year, I did not know how it happened, but I was made a part of the leadership of my church group. I tried to run away, but I stayed because the leadership role involved working under other leaders. But hey, this thing is toying with my mental health now.

I'm someone that likes things committed to my care to just work well. I like it when things handed to my care go well without issues. My heart goes restless whenever there are troubles that need to be settled. My heart is so soft when it comes to things like that; what other people or leaders take lightly are the things I take with deep concern.

The group is made up of all different kinds of people — the young ones, the married ones, the very literate ones like the lecturers, and the elderly ones. So basically, it's a role to lead people and their differences.

There have been reports of troubles here and there, especially with people quarrelling in the group and keeping malice. Haaaa! You know how that thing can be so troublesome to the leadership, especially when the situation has spread to everyone? It shows that there's no unity and, most importantly, that the spirit of God is not there. It shows that the leaders are not up to the task, even though they have prayed and done all they could to settle the situation.
Omo, I can't count how many times I have been called out to attend emergency meetings on this issue, and it has been troubling a lot.

Okay, as if that's not enough, last week, one of the members of the group — his wife gave birth, and the baby died after two days of birth, though the mother is alive. You know what? That kind of situation does not happen often in the group; the last time it happened was ages ago, and by then, I hadn't joined them.
With such a situation, a lot of talks started spreading that things are not okay with the group, that's why things have not been working or why such things are happening.

For someone that's easily disturbed when handling leadership, my mind has been so down, thinking, praying, and hoping things fall back to normal. Although I'm under some sort of leaders, it's been troubling me as if I'm the direct leader.

It may look like it's nothing or that I'm carrying other people's problems on my head. Well, that's actually leadership for you, and this type is what I wanted never to be involved in again, but here I am.
I hope things become smooth again very soon.

Thanks for reading.

Image used is mine