Hansen's Daredevil Debut
News had broken out that there was a big python coming out to the shore of the community river at the outskirt of the community, where it would stay for a while before crawling back into the river. The community was aware and believed it was a bad omen, so they believed the land needed to be cleansed. They tied a red ribbon, supported by sticks pinned to the ground, around the face area of the river as a "keep out" sign. During the daytime, in the afternoon, people would gather to watch the python crawl out until it returned in the evening. It's a dangerous act but they don't get to see pythons often, so they took it as a zoo-like view. Despite warnings of potential dangers, the villagers still went out to watch the snake.
On a Tuesday morning, immediately after the assembly around 7:55 am, Hansen, a 15-year-old boy in fourth grade, dropped his school bag inside the locker on his seat. The manner in which he hurriedly squeezed the bag inside drew Kelvin's attention, and Kelvin walked to him, asking, "Where are you rushing to?"
Hansen paused, turned his head sideways to make sure no one noticed him like Kelvin did, and replied in a very faint voice, "I'm going to see the snake."
Kelvin responded, "You haven't seen it? I and my big brother went there yesterday afternoon."
"My dad doesn't want us to go there; he sounds the alarm every now and then at home. Do you mind coming with me?" Hansen asked him, and Kelvin, without hesitation, agreed to accompany him on the journey.
The school had just two entrances: one at the forefront and the other at the back, which was not often used and was locked tightly with a padlock. However, the students who used the back gate had a hack for it: they would climb the fence and jump to the other side. Beside the gate, they had arranged a heap of sand in a cement bag, which served as a lift to enable them to climb over easily.
When sneakingly got there, they didn't find it hard; they quickly jumped and found themselves on the other side of the school, which was covered by tall guinea grasses because houses were not fully developed there. They sneaked off to the river area, which was not far from the school area.
The sun was not up yet, as it was still very early in the morning. When they reached the scene from afar, they saw the river. They stopped and scanned with their necks stretched far to check if the snake was out.
"Kelvin, which side does the snake usually lay when it comes out?" Hansen asked while stretching his neck.
"It's in the middle, very close to the keep out sign, I mean the red ribbon. It's usually in the afternoon that it comes out, we came at the wrong time" Kelvin said, stretching his hand and pointing in the direction.
Hansen was very curious to see the snake by all means because it seemed that was his only chance of seeing it. He began to walk closer to the river, which prompted Kelvin to rush to stop him.
"Don't go near the ribbon; no one is allowed to go close to there, Hansen, stop!"
Hansen's determination was on another level. He pulled away from Kelvin's grip, bent down to pick up some stones that were at the shore, and walked close to the ribbon, using his left hand to push it up while he passed under it.
"Hansen! Hansen! Hansen!" Kelvin kept calling him in a loud and scared tone because he didn't want other people to see them, which would mean they would be reported to school for sneaking out.
Hansen stayed deaf to his calling and warning, he stood close to the ribbon on the side that was not to be trespassed and began to throw stones into the river, each throw generating bubbles. He was enjoying it and always watching out for any slight movement of anything in the water.
"Hansen! Hansen! Hansen, stop! What if the snake rushes out of the water and catches you unaware? You're very close to the water," Kelvin said in a slightly elevated tone that sounded like a whisper.
"Hahahahah! You're funny. Snakes don't just rush out from the deep of the river and grab someone on the shore without the person seeing signs first. Didn't you watch 'Anaconda'?" Hansen said, turning his face back to the river direction. Suddenly, he saw the head of the snake crawling out to the direction he was standing, and he screamed aloud, "Mummy eeeeeh! Mummy ehhhhh!"
He ran away from the spot, and as fate would have it, the red ribbon snagged him. Out of fear, he forgot that there was something like that in the way, but luckily for him, the red ribbon wasn't strong, so his force broke it, while he kept shouting.
As for Kelvin, he had run very far away from his friend and wishing his friend run out quickly unharmed.
As Hansen forced his way out and ran away without looking back, still screaming, his voice attracted some group of guys nearby, who ran to the area to find the back of two young kids in school uniforms running away from the scene. Immediately, they pursued them to catch them to report them to school because it was unlawful for students to sneak out. However, Kelvin and Hansen were smart enough to outsmart them, dodging them and finding themselves inside the school premises. Panting heavily, they tried to behave as if nothing had happened before the other students in the class.
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Hansen wanted to prove his bravery in some way, but I think it backfired badly. In the end they achieved what they wanted without being discovered. The story was very fun and entertaining.
Thanks for sharing!
A very big risky step he took all in the name of exhibiting his braveness 😅
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The snake was very nice not to have caught them. Children can be very annoying and stupid, lol. It is nice they got back to the school unharmed, and hopefully, they both have learned their lesson.
Lolz😅
And we were once children too
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Me that I am very good child. Lol
This is what they call "village people on control" 😂😂 chai! Hansen was notorious, I mean what is special in snake self, that he has to risk his life. Obviously he didn't learn anything from the anaconda movie he watched
He's been seeing movies na. Don't you know it gives a special feeling to see in real life what we see in movies 😅
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Not with snake o bro. I can't stand those creatures in movies not to talk of real life
This was a light-hearted tale of truancy and misadventure - two boys wanting to see the infamous snake that everyone in the village has been talking about! Hansen tempted fate and defied the keep out zone. They ended up getting what they wished for and were lucky to escape unharmed!
One thing that jarred a little was the contradiction within your story: you mention that it is after 7.55 am and that the river is nearby. You then have the boys discuss going to see the snake and leaving the school grounds, and you describe it as "The sun was not up yet, as it was still very early in the morning. " But the boys are also able to see the river from afar. It can't be early and before sunrise, and still be after 7.55 am with visibility from afar. Be careful to maintain a consistent sense of reality within your stories.
Your story would also benefit from using more show than tell. Take a look at this resource from The Ink Well to see if you can use the pointers in there to guide your writing in your next story.
Show don't Tell
Thank you for writing in The Ink Well.
A really tricky act of bravery.
Thank you for the point outs 🤲