WHEN SOCIETY CAUSES DEATH

I have seen a bit of pressure in my lifetime. I have seen it tear people to shreds and make them do things that even they would never have imagined they would do and one of the reasons for this is the word SHAME. The thing with societal pressure is that it normally comes with the thought of shame. For example, it is shameful for a 35 year old lady to not be married, not because of anything, but because society sees it that way. Or it is shameful for a 50 year old man to not have a child. The one that gets to me is the shame that comes with couples not having kids within the first five years. Suddenly people begin to talk, people begin to give advice, you begin to feel there is something wrong with you, you begin to feel others are better than you because they have children and you don’t, or because your friends have all graduated from the university and you are yet to enter. You then begin to see yourself as less of a person and before you know it, you begin to define your access by other people's achievements.

Photo by Victor Paixão on Unsplash

This is something even me is guilty of, and that is because we let our minds limit us and tell us that the society is right because they are the majority. Who says the majority can not be wrong? Who says our lives must follow the template made for us by society. Here in Africa, at a certain age you are expected to have archived certain things, people feel that as a lady you should be married at 25, but no one feels that as a lady you should have a substantial means of income from something you have nurtured and groomed which would in turn teach you how to consistently fight for what/who you love in spite of the challenges ahead and also make sure you are not a liability when you eventually get married. But they just expect that you automatically know these things and get married at that age which to me is somewhat delusional. Society would expect a man to be married at 30 or 35, yet would not provide a stable means of income for him to take care of a family. Like where do these theories come from.

These are things that have made people take drastic decisions that were detrimental to them at the end of the day because they looked to society for validation. I always ask people who tell me things I am supposed to be “Who set those standards”. Truth is if I can know who set those standards I would like to have a word with them so they can explain to me why their opinion should govern how we live. I remember one of my coursemates in the higher institution who joined HK (A fraudster union) because those around him were mounting pressure on him to get married and shoulder his family's responsibility as the only son of the family. He is now in jail because he tried to feed his family. He impregnated a lady, and now he can’t even take care of both his child and his family who he was taking the risk for. ANd guess what, they are doing just fine without him. Such is life.

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S
PROMPT FOR WEEK 188 EPISODE 3

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