SOMETHING TO DIE FOR

Life they say is precious, but truth is it sometimes doesn't feel so. There are times it feels like it should all end, and there are times it feels like we have a lot of things yet undone. Two months ago I would have happily loved to die without hesitation, I even attempted it but was caught in the process. But now that I think back, maybe life isn't as bad as it looks. I said this to myself after visiting my friend whose wife had just given birth and the baby would not stop crying until I carried her. When I did, she looked at me and smiled and immediately my heart melted. That smile made me forget all the sorrows I had inside and I didn't even know when I smiled back at the little one.

I wouldn't say I'm someone who overly loves kids, my partner on the other hand loves children so much, but when I saw that little angel, I thought about having one of my own for a split second. And after leaving there, I knew there were amazing things I still haven't achieved and it would be a shame if I had died without having at least one of them. Although I have always been of the opinion that having a child is not necessary and I could do without it so long I have someone to carry whatever legacy I live behind. But now that I think about it, I haven't even built my legacy yet talk less about having someone to leave something behind for. So yeah I don't want to die before having a child of my own and raising that kid with all the love a parent can give.

I would so much love to know the joy and fears of being a parent, I would so much want to know how it feels to handle a toddler, I would also love to know how it feels to train a teenager and mentor a young adult that is my own. Yeah I want to experience it all, not just leaving a legacy for someone somewhere but teaching another human how to be better versions of myself in the society. I want to be everything my own father wasn't and more, but first I must strive to give that child a home where he/she will never lack. So yeah I guess I now have something to live for.

PICTURE CREDIT IS MINE