The Disappearing Act [Fiction]
He thinks I'm joking when I say, 'one day, I’ll disappear’. I lay my head on my steering wheel in front of Besties, a cosy motel surrounded by nature that I've wanted to visit for a long time but have no reason to. Until now.
I groan, shaking my head from side to side. From my teenage years, I'd looked forward to starting my home because I love kids. Martins was incredibly sweet to me, and he loved me and we thought, ‘what the heck. Let's do this!’
After graduation, we got married and now we have four kids. I don't know how it happened. I mean, I know but time flew by so fast that I'm left befuddled, wondering how my husband and I got here.
They are the sweetest, my kids. Just like their dad but exhausting. Being an only child, I wasn't prepared for responsibilities and chaos. It's like being stuck in a never-ending hallway. It's so endless that I keep running, searching, hoping a door will appear from afar. A door to a life where all these responsibilities are taken care of and I can laze on a beach in my bikini.
There's always something to do every minute of every day. The only time I have left to myself is when my children are all tucked in bed and snoring softly. I brew myself a cup of Twinings' rooibos tea flavoured with cranberry and pomegranate. My favourite.
Then I'm savouring every sip when Martins creeps up behind me and breathes down my neck. And there goes my me-time. When it becomes a routine, I hide and he gives up eventually, grumbles about how ‘mean’ I am and goes to bed.
Where's the end to this never-ending hallway?
Oh, I know! I threaten to disappear and Martins guffaws, his head thrown back before he kisses me on the forehead and leaves for work.
I send Estella, my dear cousin who lives close by and works from home, a text message to please help out with the kids when they return from school. She says okay. She's done it before and knows where the key to the front door is hidden.
I grab my handbag, throw in a few toiletries, a set of clean clothes and undies and drive to Besties. It's Friday. I pay for two nights and walk back into the car to grab my bag. Now, I'm wondering if this isn't a mistake. Will the receptionist give me a refund?
I shake my head and groan again. I must be brave and go through with my plan because I deserve this. So I get out of the car and walk into my cosy room, smiling. I call the kitchen and order a delicious meal. After a warm bath, I see it's getting dark outside. I check my phone and see lots of missed calls. Then Martins’ voicemail—
Babe, where are you? I thought you were joking this morning (Mummy! Is that mum? Dad, are you talking to mum? I wanna talk to her too.) Shh, be quiet…Babes, please we need you. Come home and I promise we'll have a vacation, you and I, next weekend. Call me.
I snuggle deeper into my duvet, happily munching on strawberries coated with chocolate. I'll give them a call tomorrow.
Today is mine.
I hope you enjoyed reading this five-minute short story and not judging me too harshly. It's fiction but also relatable. Everyone deserves a break at some point! Hehe. This story is inspired by the Freewrite #dailyprompt word “never ending hallway”.
Thank you for visiting my blog.
Image credit: Roegger
Relatable...are you kidding. It's everyday life for millions of moms. A never-ending series of hallways throughout the home. Rarely are moms taken seriously when voicing their opinion about needing alone time. This is true especially given the environment one grows up in, such as having too many siblings or not being used to the noise if an only child. People cope with their current environment drawing from the past.
I did have one concern. To not answer after several hours, one can only surmise that a tragedy has occurred and mom is not able to respond. The worry would be heartbreaking after learning her actions were just to teach them a lesson of sorts.
Otherwise, strawberry and chocolate with perhaps an awesome novel would be excellent, together with a good night's rest.
Thanks for sharing this story. Nicely done.
!ALIVE
!DHEDGE
You're right. Most mothers can attest to this overwhelming feeling of taking on too many things at home and work without a break. When they ask for a break or comment on how stressed they are, people give a look saying 'you're a woman. you can't be stressed'. 😄
About your concern, I thought of it while writing but my five minutes had stretched into ten. Lets hope our protagonist gives her husband a call or a text message to say she's fine. Hehe. Always a pleasure to read your comment. Thanks so much and have a wonderful day. !PIMP 💕
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Yes, just a short message to relieve the kids worry about "is Mom alright...when is she coming home...I need socks."
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Thank you
Hey, Kemmy, what a wonderfully realistic story.
in a short story there is a tricky balance between providing enough backstory, and keeping the focus on what's happening and I think you do this nicely.
WIth it being a first person point of view there is a challenge in how to phrase things. At a rough count I found 29 uses of 'I', which is nearly 5% of the entire story. There is a great resource by Louise Harnby, which may give you some tips on how to trim these down, here.
thanks for the read. great work
Oh wow, thanks for pointing out my excessive use of 'I' and providing the helpful resource. 🙂
Guarantee every writer has had a similar issue. I did. In early drafts I still do sometimes.
Keeping a refresher like the one I linked helps me keep on top of it.
👍
This part cracked me up 😂😂. She was like, "I have to pick ME first". This is a very relatable story. I love how you wrote the story in first person perspective because it was easy to connect with the narrator. I felt her need for a vacation and space. Every mother deserves that because with kids, it's a different world of chaos and time flies by in a snap of a finger. I enjoyed reading this. Awesome.
!discovery 43
Indeed every mother deserves some rest time away from all the chaos. It's no small feat to raise kids and take care of a home. Kudos to all mothers! Thanks so much for your support. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this story. !LADY 💕
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Thank you
Well, you successfully got your me time.
And the next day comes your normal routine 😅
I enjoyed reading this dear.
Well, there's no hiding away from such responsibilities! 😄 Thanks so much for reading. !LUV
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That's it.
You are welcome 😁
I can relate! You captured it so well... only that not every mom is brave enough to make that kind of threat or even carry it out in real life.
I came in from #dreemport.
#dreemerforlife
You're right. No every mom is brave to disappear like that. Thanks for your visit. 🙂
That is impressive, I have been doing the 5 minute prompt on my tengogaming account but struggle to get past 200 written words in 5 minutes!
Almost 600 is insane!
Well done, popped in from dreemport tonight #dreemerforlife
What I do is make a rough and fast sketch of the story in five minutes. While editing, I flesh out the story. Thanks so much for your visit. 🙂