The Best Treasures are Found in Soul Rivers

Someone once told me; that the treasures you are searching for are within you.

Don't ever let anybody tell you otherwise because being in a romantic relationship is absolutely beautiful. You feel enveloped in that little bubble where all you want to do is breathe in each other's presence. You want to possess them whole, leaving no crumbs. The synergy is perfect and the stars have aligned. With them, you feel like you can fly and nothing is impossible. You nurture that gentle feeling of peace, support, and tranquility- all you need to get through life. I think you get the picture now.

_{So people often ask; how can I find the best partner?}

Finding the best partner isn't a herculean task as most people believe. You do not have to cross the seven seas and mountains to find your soulmate. I strongly believe that to find the best one is to be the best. What is that they say about like poles? They attract.

Like a mirror. You need to be able to reflect what you want to see in the other person. This makes me remember a quote I once read; You are too busy trying to be someone else that the blessing meant for you is having a hard time finding you.

This discourse naturally begs the question;
_{How do I make myself the best partner for my significant other?}

For me, becoming the best partner is an endless voyage of unlearning, relearning, and exploring of self. I used to think that I had it all figured out but boy was I wrong. I had already met myself more than halfway and I thought that was all I needed.

I didn't discern that I had fallen for another human being who also knew themselves to a certain depth. I failed to understand that I needed to create space to accommodate the depth of a foreign body within me. You see, most times we think we have it all figured out. We are picture-perfect and all we need is someone who's going to match that energy. But energy works simply. You attract what you are. Your authentic self.

I didn't learn all of that at first. Naturally, the relationship became entangled with a series of misunderstandings and unresolved trivial matters. I started to find ugly layers of myself that I didn't even know existed. I saw the child in me with unhealed trauma who came to dance in the music of confrontations and uncomfortable silences. This unhealthy pattern was happening to both of us. It was at that moment I concurred that the devil was truly an angel in the past and it's a very thin line between sanity and insanity.

So in my quest for acceptance, I finally realized that I needed to open up and accept, first. Whatever I wanted, I needed to give.

This meant that I needed to become the best version of myself. I was going to do it for myself before anyone else.

I started on a journey of healing. I sat down to nurture deep unhealed wounds sutured in denial. I'm loving and treating myself the way I want to be treated. I know how much I'm worth. I'm being gentle and kind to myself. Treating my partner the same way comes very easy for me now. I like the woman I see in the mirror and I'm pleased with her.

Now, when my partner looks at me, that's the woman he sees and he treats me no less than that. I've learned that he's also human and like me, he has victories and battles. Together, we are learning to make space that accommodates the other person's sweets and excesses. Together we are on this journey of love and life.

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_{Header image was designed using canva}