Heartbreak, Karma, and Growing Up.

Secondary school was a rollercoaster. It gave me some of my fondest memories and also served me a few tough lessons I’ll never forget. One of those lessons came wrapped in love, heartbreak, and a painful dose of karma.

It all began in SS1. There was this girl in my class—we were really close. She laughed at my jokes, always found a way to be around me, and treated me differently from everyone else. I didn’t realize it at first, but she had a crush on me. The funny thing is, I had feelings for her too. But I was too shy to tell her in person.

So, during the holidays, I did what any introverted teenage boy would do—I sent her a message on WhatsApp. I asked her out.

Her reply came quickly: No.

I felt embarrassed, but I didn’t give up. A few days later, I tried again. This time, she said yes. I can still remember how I grinned from ear to ear that day. Just like that, she became my girlfriend.

But here’s the truth: I wasn’t ready.

Sometimes, I wouldn’t talk to her in class. Other times, I would send my friend to pass messages to her—like we were still in primary school. I didn’t know how to be present, how to treat her right, or even how to be emotionally available. I was just a kid who liked the idea of being in a relationship without understanding what it actually meant.

Eventually, things got strained. We both felt it. After some time, i broke up with her.

Then came the twist.

A new girl joined our class not long after. She was stunning. The type of beauty that made everyone take a second look. It wasn’t long before I caught feelings. I started talking to her, trying to show interest, trying to connect. But there was one problem—she was close friends with my ex.

Still, I didn't back down.

I told her how I felt. She said no.

I tried again.

Still no.

In total, I asked her out more than five times. I even opened up about personal things i would normally not share with anyone, with the hope that it would change something. But her answer never changed.

Eventually, I gave up. And when I did, I cried—not just because I couldn’t have her, but because I realized something deeper. I had a good thing before, and I messed it up. And maybe, just maybe, this was my consequence.

You can’t eat your cake and have it. I wanted love without effort, and in the end, I lost both.

Thanks for reading.

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