The Pressure To Fit In

Societal expectation is one of the leading causes of depression in many countries. These expectations are not laid-down rules. Most of them are not entrenched in the constitution of a country, but they are just things that are required of people. Social expectation is a double-edged sword; on one side are the advantages and on the other side are the disadvantages. Growing up, society expects that as a child you do well in school and that you obey your parents. This part of societal expectations is positive. However, many of them push us to do things we don’t want to do. It is being forced to wear a shoe that isn’t your size.

This brings me to today’s Hive Learners’ prompt: Unrealistic Standards. When society places standards on its people, at what age does it become unrealistic?

In today’s world, society dictates almost everything. Societal standards have managed to seep into almost every aspect of life. One popular standard that many people now believe is the idea that you must have material things before you can be considered worthy of love. Society has made it a rule that love must go hand in hand with money and other possessions. For example, people say a young guy must have money before he starts a relationship. Not just money to take care of himself, but also to spend on his partner. If a man does not have money, that means he should not fall in love. While I am not against this school of thought, society places extra pressure on these standards.

I remember the time I had a conversation with one of my coursemates. According to her, she can never date an Android user. When I asked her why, she responded with a single sentence “What will my friends say?” She couldn’t picture herself in a relationship with someone who doesn’t fit into that particular societal standard. This places unnecessary pressure on young men who start doing fraudulent things just to meet that standard. I’m not of the opinion that men shouldn’t work to get money, rather, I’m saying that money shouldn’t dictate the pace of love in any relationship, a sharp contrast to societal standards.

It gets more complex than that. One particular standard I have a problem with is the marriage standard. The idea that you have to get married at or before a certain age. This pressure is more common in women who feel that time is not on their side as they grow older. Today, that pressure has made a lot of people make grave mistakes. One of my friends shared the story of her older sister with me. We were having a conversation about the complexities of marriage. According to her, her older sister is well educated and rich. She spent years furthering her education and making money that she didn’t have time for relationships. When she finally achieved everything she ever dreamt of, there was no man by her side.

She started craving for love. Societal pressure started to affect her. I'm sure that whenever she scrolled on social media and saw videos of people younger than her getting married, she felt somehow. A part of her shattered. Well, it was only a matter of time before she couldn’t deal with the pressure anymore. She settled for less. Someone way below her standard who didn’t have a good job. To make things terrible, he made the marriage difficult for her to the extent that she had to leave the marriage. Currently, they are not divorced but they are not together either.

Societal expectations become unrealistic and unhealthy when they start to place unnecessary pressure on people. These things should be subjective. If people do not want to get married at a certain age, then so be it. Unfortunately, society has already set that standard, and I do not think it can be changed, at least not in the next couple of years.

Thanks for reading.

Image was generated using AI.