The Art Of Loving Yourself

I remember from my Sunday school classes that our teachers often instructed us to always love our neighbors as ourselves. They told us that love is the strongest commandment and that we should always treat our neighbors with love. “Shower them with love” was their go/to phrase. They taught us not to do to others (our neighbors) what we wouldn't do to ourselves. For example, if you wouldn't call yourself terrible names, we shouldn't call our neighbors terrible names. Similarly, if you enjoy saying good things about yourself, you should always say good things about your neighbors. Initially, I found it extremely difficult to grasp this concept. Why? Well, the word “neighbor” faces several problems of definition. I used to wonder “Who exactly is my neighbor? Are the people living a few blocks from my house my neighbor? Are outsiders also my neighbor and do these “rules” also apply to them?

My mum also joined the moving train and would always yell into our ears “Love your neighbors as yourself.” She said it often. Maybe too often? You’d be scared that if you didn't do this, heaven would open its mouth and an angel would magically appear and give you a great knock. After I figured that my neighbors are those around me- including outsiders. However, I found it difficult to apply the rule to outsiders, so I just stuck to my friends and those around me. My Sunday school teacher’s and mum’s world often hammered in my ears, and it was as if I always felt this uncontrollable urge to “love my neighbor as myself.” pretty good, right? Well, unfortunately, I took it too far.

I took this rule, advanced it, and interpreted it in my language. Instead of loving my neighbor as myself, I started loving my neighbor more than myself. I remember during my high school days, I’d always remember my friends’ birthday and get them something good. In class, I overheard one of my friends talking about her birthday and how she'd always wanted cookies as a birthday gift. Sadly, she’d never received them because people seldom give her gifts. It was the beginning of the term, a new season. That day, I started saving towards it. Every day, I'd save a certain amount of money in my piggy bank. Her birthday was the middle of the term and I had already saved more than enough. The smile on my face when I got her the cookies was out of this world. It made me happy.

Seeing her reaction made me super happy. I enjoyed seeing my friends happy. Of course, I still do. However, this happened too many times. I was putting my friends before myself and I didn't even do good things for myself. It wasn't until later that I realized this. For example, I am a book lover and, naturally, every book lover wants hard copies of books- fresh books. I've always wanted new books that I'd buy with my own money. Throughout my secondary school days, it never crossed my mind to save up money and get myself new books as a birthday gift. Why? Because I was busy saving up to get my friends cool stuff.

It wasn't until later in life that I realized something valuable: you are your best friend, so treat yourself with love too. I can't count the number of times that I have sacrificed my happiness or put myself in tight spots just to make people happy. I don’t want to give off the impression that I am now cold-hearted and would do things for myself only. No, that'd be selfish. My point is that if you're going extra lengths to make people happy, you should also make yourself happy. Prioritize your happiness. One part should not suffer because of another. Find balance.

Thanks for reading.