Raising Responsible Kids: Parent-Child Collaboration
For decades, there has been a long-standing debate about raising children. Whose fault is it when a child misbehaves and commits a major infraction to the society? Is it the parents fault or the kids fault? I understand that the parents are significantly responsible for “cultivating” and shaping their kid’s future. However, in recent years, there have been cases of kids turning out badly despite receiving numerous teachings from their parents. In a situation like this, is it still the parent's fault if the child turns out to be a weed to society after all efforts to instill numerous teachings?
There is no doubt that the importance of a parental figure in the life of a child cannot be overemphasized. Parents, whether mother, father, or guardians, have the duty to teach their children the right way to prevent them from going astray and to make them achieve the best version of themselves. This topic reminds me of one of the subjects I took in high school; social studies. One of the topics our teacher covered in our early years in high school was the family. According to her, as soon as a child steps into the world, they become the responsibility of the parents and the parents must make sure they fulfill their duties. The child's first friend is the mother as she is the first person the child notices. Children observe and consume everything they see, so it is very important that the parents show their their children good behaviors
For instance, a child grows up in a family where the mother and father fight every day. Naturally, the child would pick up the bad habits of fighting when he grows up. Naturally, the child would assume violence is the key to solving disputes. Now, I ask you, whose fault is it if the child turns out to be a lout, hooligan or a wife beater? It is definitely the parent’s fault. On the other hand, if a child grows up in a peaceful home where the parents resolve quarrels amicably, there will definitely be a different outcome. I understand that no home can be perfect and there will always be arguments, but quarreling and fighting in the presence of your kids can be avoided. At least, that is how I was raised.
There are several factors to consider when a child misbehaves and commits a major infraction to the society; lack of parental figure, lack of good parenting, issues on the side of the child and so on. Out of all these factors, the ones that tops the list is the lack of parental figure and lack of good parenting. Most of the hooligans we see today are that way, most probably because they grew up without a parental figure or under the sheds of irresponsible parents. Whichever the case, they grew up having too much freedom with no one there to curtail them whenever they made mistakes.
Nevertheless, some kids are just fated to become hooligans and weeds to society, despite numerous teachings from the parents. I'm not sure this is the right way to phrase it, but I hope you get and understand my point. Despite teachings from parents, some kids turn out to be weeds regardless. Growing up, one of our neighbors had a very stubborn kid. Much older than most kids, he was the street’s nemesis, always causing troubles from one home to another. Our parents warned us to always avoid him. He'd steal from house to house and fight elderly people. His parents would beat him like a Christmas goat and weep over his actions. Despite their tears, he never changed. He dropped out of school and started “working” as a lout; the community’s trouble maker. Today, he is one of the lazy youths who survive by begging on the street. So, who is to blame? The parents who tried the best they could to train him well or the child who never listened to teachings?
I'll put it this way; why most cases of weeds in society are as a result of lack of proper upbringing on the side of the parents, some kids are just so stubborn that they never listen. Since it is impossible to open a kid’s head and put in the right teachings, it all comes down to both parties; the parents and the child. The parents must train the child as best as they can and children must put in the effort to learn. All hands have to be on deck.
All images in this post are mine.
Thanks for reading.
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This part hit me really hard lol, you and I literally wrote the same thing but in different arrangements but it has the same meaning lol…
Some kids are in-born goats lol, they are fated to be hooligans regardless of the level of upbringing you give to them… those are the children tainting the upbringing of parents out there, we can only do little when it comes to parenting, I pray we don’t born goats 😂
Hehe. My bro!😂😂 This cracked me up. I totally agree with you oo. Some kids are inborn goats. Their stubbornness is inbuilt. 😂
I laughed after reading this part and was about commenting until I saw this comment.
No child is fated to be a hooligan. The choices they make are what led to that path. It's just like saying being a doctor or carpenter is in the gene 🧬. There's also a place for decision making.
No child is a dullard but it's a choice to read and keep reading till he/she understands.
To some extent, I agree with you that no child is dated to be hooligan. However, some children are just so stubborn right from their childhood that you can help but conclude that it is their “destiny” to be stubborn.
See your mouth 😂
A child’s character is developed, not inbuilt know this and know peace 😌
Some ones are inbuilt o.😂
Like yours and your brother Abi? 🤣🏃♀️➡️
I will call my brother here now o.😂
Ehn call him 😂
Are you not scared?
You have a point but some kids will still go bad even if they were raised by angel Gabriel.
There’s this mate of mine in the university who didn’t respect even one bit. She would openly insult the guys in the class and even those in other departments. It was so bad to the extent that everyone spoke bad about it
It was until after school I found out that she was raised in a home where the mother insulted the dad and it all began to make sense.
Oh! This too, Nhaj. This too. Kids observe and consume. Some years ago, a woman and her three kids rented on apartment in the next block. Her kids would openly insult/curse their friends and even parents, and the mom would do nothing about it. She'd even support them. It was later that we found out that they got chased out of their previous apartment for the same reason.
If my kids even try this they will smell pepper.😂😂
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Thank you.
But I do feel that most of these children who have coconut heads and don't listen to their parents started off small. Imagine a 7-year-old stealing meat from the pot, and the parents only laughing about it and saying he's still a baby and doesn't know what he's doing. Instead of them correcting him young.
Now he's 13 and doing worse. There's nothing on this earth that would make that child listen to you, so either way, I still think it's the fault of the parents.
I had a neighbor, he would steal his mum's money and the highest she could do was to shout at him. Now he's a teenager and she now thinks he's mature so she beats him and slaps him whenever he takes her money. He even stole from a very big supermarket once and he was caught . They handed him over to the police but the mum bailed him and beat the hell out of him. Did he stop, No! He's still doing worse
My dear. You just said my mind with examples 😂
PA PA.😂
Bosu Bosu 🤣
Which one is Bosu Bosu?😂
It’s the slangs for boss 😂
Okay, mummy.
Yes daddy 😂
😂😂 ahh
These comments are making me laugh.😂😂
Truly, some people kids have coconut head. People like @rubilu
This, too. Parents should learn to train their kids well. Train them with the rod. Trust me, there are many parents who take these things lightly. He’s still a kid? Okay oo. Mini armed robber.
This reminds me of a guy in my school who stole a wig for his girlfriend.
Mini armed robber
Ahh!! 😂😂
Wait you mean to tell me a guy stole someone's wig for Eve? 😂😂
Eve that will still end up leaving him 😂
Chai this one is bad oo😂😂
It is really bad oo. E shock me too.😂😂
How will you say that to me?😂. How can you put my kids name into this one Ayy. This guy be acting crazy 😂
That's an interesting point of view that I hadn't reflected on. Indeed, no matter how good the parents are, some children may go in a direction opposite to what they should, and I say this in both a positive and negative sense.
Hello there, sire. I still think parents should try their best to change their kids. I know it can be difficult, but what more can they do?
This is well slated, everyone as a role to play making it a collective effort and I agree with you, we've seen kids without parents or good upbringing we still turn out well, so while parents must do all they can to raise their child well.
They should should be intentional and ready to work towards how his or her life will be great.
Indeed, sir. Parents must do all they can to train their kids well.
Thanks for stopping by, Sir.
I was about to have a serious conversation with you until I read this to the end, which is funny because someone said something similar to me yesterday. Anyways, I 100% agree that both parties have a responsiblity in who a child grows up to be. Unless a unique situation is presented where you can clearly tell who is at fault, it's safe to take the neutral position that both parties can be blamed for children's behavior.
The problem I have with this is that, the moment we leave it at the middle, it gives room for lapses. Parents are to take full responsibility for their children.
They turn out bad, it’s the parents, they turn out good, it is also the parents.
Oh! Yes, I’m very biased, I can’t even hide it 😂
Smiles. I understand you, Hope. At least you acknowledge that you're biased😂
Yes sir I know 😂, I will not change sha, until I become a parent (even then I will still be responsible of any out come) 😌. Please remind me incase I try to say otherwise 😂
I am going to have a serious conversation with you. Let me read your comment first.😂
I know, I am prepared 😂
Whoa! Who do we have here?! It's Hamza. Hey there, man. It's been ages.
I’m glad you agree with me, Hamza. Raising successful, responsible, and happy children requires teamwork. While parents have a significant role to play in providing guidance, support, and love, kids also have a vital part to fulfill. So when a child turns out to be a weed, we should not entirely blame the parents.
100, man.
I’m always biased when it comes to this topic because I will always blame the parents, no matter what.
Parenting is not beans and bread, you just have to be ready because your effort will show. Your child or children will either bring shame or glory to you but then it all depends on the effort you put in to make it possible.
Yes, some children end up being stubborn but trust me, if a thorough examination is done, you will see the parents will end up being guilt.
I’m going to be a parent someday and I’m going to be fully responsible for my children, if they end up bad, it is my fault and if they end up good, it is my job too.
The wisest man ever lived once said, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. So I will just put in the effort to train my children when they are young and reap the benefits later and others will enjoy them too.
Okay. Let's take this bit by bit, shall we? I'm glad you agree that your take on this topic is biased, Hopey.
Parenting is not an easy feat at all. I’m not a parent yet but I know how hard it can be. I agree with you that if you put in the effort, there’s a high tendency that the children will bring glory and not shame.
This point is valid, Hope. However, I do not totally agree with you. I’ve heard first hand stories and I’ve had first hand experiences. Some kids turn out to be weeds on their accord and it is 0% not their parent’s fault. But,such cases are low. Most times, it is the parent’s fault.
You are going to be a good parent, Hopey. It has always been your dream.
Valid words, PA. Valid.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving this beautiful comment, PA (I almost called you love).
I was just wishing I could use voice note to respond to this 😂.
Okay, I’m glad you agreed with me on some points. The truth is, the fault from the child is as a parent’s fault and their negligence at some point. A child just needs one simple mistake to get it wrong.
Yes, I pray everyday to God for my future family because I want to tell those who said it’s a child’s fault that it is not. As long as you as a parent always put your children in the hands of God and do what they need to do at the right time, things will fall in place on their own.
Here is the thing, I’m not saying a child won’t be stubborn, my own is what the parents does when the child proves stubborn. They are humans, and every human has a soft spot, as a parent you need to know your child’s own because it will help you.
Oh! Me too but I didn’t I went to call my babe instead 🥳
Hope, Hope, Hope. Not everytime, Hope. Not always.
Okay. I understand your point, Hope. Although I still don’t completely agree with you, your points are valid.
Maybe talk more about it on call?
You never agree with me 😂
Well, I can’t contend with you because I’m not even a parent 😂.
It’s not always true yes but we shouldn’t try to blame our children as parents, they do that too much and it’s not nice
Some parents will be like, I don talk to am tire, I don pray for am but he nor gree change, I don try my best and so on. Saying that as a parent means you’ve given up on your child and once the child notice this, trust me he or she will never change
I'm sure you agree that parenting is not easy. Parents have unconditional love for their children. No matter what they do, they'll love and care about them, but when it gets to the point when they start saying “I don talk am tire, but e no gree change..” It has gotten to its vertex.
Exactly! How and why did they make it get there? We know children are very sensitive and they learn really fast so giving them space small is very dangerous.
Yes it’s not easy, so unless it was a mistake, no one should rush into giving birth because they want to have a child to wear matching clothes with 😌
You must be kidding me 😂
I kid you not.😂
Oh! It’s child you child me 😂
😂
This is correct sir. We have our responsibility and the children have theirs too.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for stopping by, ma.
Thanks for the support.
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I totally agree with you here. If parents like they should talk and train a child from now till thy kingdom comes if a child will go wayward he will still go wayward. This generation and time is just filled with children who are not willing to listen to any advice from their parents, they always make their own decisions and feel nobody has the right to control them or has the right to tell them how to behave. The parents also have a hand in this because if there is one thing I have noticed is that a child normally exhibit or show the behaviours and the things they see their parents do. They are very attentive and they always think thay whatever behaviour their parents show is always the right thing and I seriously can't blame them because those are their role models in life.
It is really sad that some kids will still turn out to be wayward despite their parent's teachings.
I agree with you, bro. In most cases, are the main reason why children turn out to be wayward. The best thing to do is start early. Children observe and consume the things they say their parents do.
Thanks for stopping by.