Promise: A Debt Or A Strategy?

Growing up, I was raised with the idea that promise is a debt. “Promise is a debt.” I can't remember if it was my parents, siblings or teachers who told me this, but I stuck to it. I would often hold myself back from making promises that I knew I wasn't going to fulfill, and when I do make promises, I try my best to fulfil them, because I wouldn't want to be indebted to someone. This was my mentality through my elementary and high school days. However, as I grew older, my eyes were open to something completely different from what I had believed growing up. I realized people, particularly adults, make promises to get out of difficult situations. Have you ever been in a situation where someone keeps bugging you to do something, and the only way to get them off your back for that moment is to promise to give them what they want? At least, that would give you more time and they'd stop bugging you. For most adults, promise is not a debt, it is a strategy.

Not all adults are intentional promise breakers. Sometimes, life comes your way so fast that you have to make a fake promise just to get through the moment. Two years ago, one of my dad’s tenants hadn’t paid his rent for more than 4 months. Every time my dad talked to him about it, he'd promise to pay it by the end of the week. He kept making promises and breaking them, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He was going through a hard time, and making and breaking promises seemed like the only way out. This brings me to today's Hive Learners’ topic: A BROKEN PROMISE. Have you ever broken a promise you made to someone? Do you think there is a justifiable or valid reason for breaking a promise?

I find it difficult to make promises and not fulfill them. For example, if a friend asks me for something and I do not have it at that moment, if I promise to give them, my mind will be on it until I fulfill that promise. Meaning, I could go out of my way to fulfill promises. Knowing this, I don’t often make promises that I know I wouldn't be able to fulfil. When it comes to promises, one rule I have made for myself is not to make promises whenever I am over excited. We might get caught up in the moment and promise people what we are unable to give them. It reminds me of the time my friend promised his girlfriend a brand new phone because they were “in the moment.” He had to spend all his savings to fulfil that promise.

As much as I don’t like breaking promises, many times, I have found myself in situations where I had to break promises. I had to do that because it was the only option left and without doing it, I wouldn't be able to get out of that situation. The last time I broke a promise was to my mom. My mom is aware that students always go to parties and enjoy their lives after their final exams. So, during my final exams, my mom kept telling and reminding me about how it was dangerous to go to parties. She'd send me long messages and videos she saw on the internet about people who died in a party after their final exams. My mom is quite overprotective. I had never attended a party in school because she would always tell me not to.

But I had to enjoy my last days in the university to the fullest. My coursemates decided to party after our final exams. They picked the venue and also the activities we would do there. I don’t know if my mom sensed that I was planning to go to the party, but that night, she called me and reminded me not to go. To get her mind off the whole thing, I promised that I wouldn't go to the party. I could sense the relief in her voice when I said that. Barely 30 minutes after I promised her I wouldn't go to the party, I put on my clothes, wore my sneakers and headed out.

As I mentioned, my mom is overprotective. She has always been like that for as long as I can remember. Yes, breaking that promise was valid and justifiable. If I hadn't done that, who knows if I would ever attend a party again? It was the first time I attended a party, and I had a great time. Real fun. Of course, I'm not of the school of thought that believes promises should be broken. However, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where breaking promises is valid.

Images in this post are mine.

Thanks for reading.

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