Finding The Balance: When To Open The Door And When To Give Space

Parenting is one of the most difficult things to do. You can be there for your children, give them everything they want, and turn up for them whenever the need arises, only for them to turn out to be urchins in the future. On the other hand, there are children who receive little attention, yet they still grow up to be very good and kind people in the future. This is why I mentioned that parenting is one of the most difficult things to do. Responsibilities fall on the parents; they should monitor their children, but more importantly, children should also put in the effort to make sure they abide by their parent’s teachings. This brings me to today’s Hive Learners’ prompt; KIDS AND PRIVACY.

As I mentioned, the responsibility of taking care of a child majorly rests on the shoulders of the parents. They must make sure they watch over their children. However, they must also know when to give them privacy. Now, the question is that; when is the right time to give your kids privacy? I have made friends with many people who shared their childhood and the parenting approach they received with me. Growing up, their parents were always in their faces. They weren’t allowed to go outside. The only times they were allowed to step out of the house was when they went to school or church. So it was always from school, to church and then back home. It was as if their parents had handcuffed their hands and kept the key to their freedom in their pockets.

But what parents should realize is that their children cannot be under their shed forever. When they gained admission into the university, they left their parents' home and started to live on their own. They were free to do whatever they wanted, and trust me, that was exactly what they did. They utilized every opportunity they had to have fun and try crazy things. Their parents would have never allowed them to visit friends, but when they got to school, they didn’t only visit friends, they went together for outings.

When kids are growing up, it is important that parents establish the open doors approach. Open doors as the name implies is when children are expected to keep their bedroom or personal spaces open so parents can watch over them. This approach is very effective because you will know what your child is up to. For example, children learn a lot of things in school. Not only school work, but during break times or other free times, when they talk with their school mates, they also learn more things. They could learn about adult content and when they get home, they will try to start practicing what they learnt.

A few months ago; I read a short story about bad parenting. The parents were not available to take care of their children, so they would leave them to care for themselves. Whenever the parents were out, the children would turn the TV on and start watching adult content. This is exactly why parents must watch their children with eagle eyes, especially when they are younger, that is when they tend to practice heather they learn. This is where the open door approach becomes effective. By doing so, parents would be able to caution their children when caught doing such acts.

Now, back to the question, when is the right time to give your kids privacy? When is the right time to stop the open doors approach? In my opinion, this should be a gradual process. For example, when kids are in primary/elementary school, parents should make sure they give them maximum attention, because this is when they are curious to try everything they learn. This is when the open doors approach is most effective. However, as the child starts growing older, parents should start introducing privacy. This doesn’t mean they shouldn’t check up to see what their children are doing, but it should be reduced. As they grow older and start to mature, you start giving them privacy, step by step till they become fully mature to stay on their own.

In conclusion, parents should implement the open doors policy, especially when the kids are younger. However, as they grow older, parents should give their children some privacy; it should be a step by step process.

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Thanks for reading.