Born Or Built

Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks in marriage. Raising kids is not an easy feat and although I am not a parent yet, I know this from the many talks I have had with my mom and my older friends who are married. My mom would often tell my siblings and I that if she had the opportunity to go back in time or if there were another world, she would choose to be single all her life. She worries about kids so much that whenever she doesn’t hear from them, it causes her so much pain. I have heard many people share their parenting experiences and one common thing in all these stories is that it is not easy.

Parenting might look simple on the surface, but it is more complex that it seems. Parents can do everything to raise their children, send them to the best schools, satisfy their needs and wants, make sure they don’t lack in any way and in the end, the child will still turn out to be bad. On the other hand, a child can grow up without parents; they might even be raised by a terrible relative, but in the end, they might turn out to be respectful and good. The question here is, does that mean that the parents' teachings do not matter? Does it mean that parents do not have to set an example for their kids since they might turn out to go against them in the future? Whatever the outcome might be in the future, I strongly believe that the actions of the parents play a huge role in shaping the behaviors of the children.

This brings me to today’s Hive Learners’ prompt. The topic is: Behaviors. Are behaviors learned or inherited? When a child grows up to be good, is it as a result of their genes or were they well taught by their parents or guardian? I believe that certain skills can be inherited. For example, when a father is an artist, that talent can sometimes be passed down to his children. I know this because of a friend of mine. Their dad is a retired artist, and interestingly, every one of his children paints very well. This also happens in football and many other fields, so it is entirely possible. However, behavior is a completely different story. Skills may pass from parent to child, but behavior does not always follow the same pattern.

Behaviors are not inherited, they are learnt. A child learns from the mother, father, siblings and those around the child. Children are very smart. They are fast learners and at that age, they absorb almost everything they see. So, if a child sees the father beating the mother everyday, he will probably see nothing wrong in assaulting people. Likewise, if a child grows up in a good and loving home, there is a very high chance that the teachings make him become a good and loving person just like his parents.

As I mentioned above, parents might do everything they can to make sure they train their children, yet they will turn out to be a menace in society. That’s what happens to some children. They might divert to another path, despite their parent’s constant warnings. Factors like peer group influence cause this. A few years ago, when I got admission into the university, one of my hostemates joined a bad gang. When he newly resumed, he was calm. For some time, his dad and I were close. With the conversations I had with him, it was evident that his dad was a good person and that he tried his best to raise his son well. Sadly, his son started smoking and drinking.

These things happen. But it doesn’t mean that parents should totally neglect their children. It just means that they have to pay extra attention to them throughout their journey from childhood to adulthood and even beyond.

Thanks for reading.

Image used was generated using AI.