Regret// Spending Time Trying to Impress People Who Don’t Care About You

There is a kind of regret that many of us discover only when we look back on our lives and reflect on the things we have done. Many people have spent much time trying to impress people who were never really interested in them.

At first when we were trying so hard to impress people, it felt like necessary. But later, when the truth settles,and we finally realize the time we have waste, it becomes clear that the attention we were chasing was never meant for us in the first place.

There was a time when I thought the best way to be accepted was to look perfect in the eyes of people. I tried to talk a certain way, maintain certain posture, even my walking step changes, and behave in ways that didn't match my values. I wanted people to see me as someone who had everything under control. Whenever I did something, I usually found myself thinking more about how people would react than how I personally felt about what I did. In my mind, their approval had a special weight.

This whole idea behind this kind of regret became clear to me because of something that happened to a friend of mine. A new lady was employed at our workplace, and my friend instantly became attracted to her. He wanted her attention so badly that each time he saw her approaching, he changed everything about himself. His walking step changed, his voice changed, his mood changed he became a different person entirely. Sometimes, he even helped her with tasks that were not his own, just to impress her. After doing all these things, he finally gathered courage and decided to speak to her of his interest on her. But she told him she wasn’t interested. Later, during a conversation we had with the guys, he shared how surprised and shocked he was when the lady told him, he wasn't interested. He said after all he did to impress her and gain her attention, the packaging she didn’t even give him a chance. That to me is how easy it is to pour energy into people who never asked for it and may never value it.

Experiences like this make you notice the small signs you once ignored. You share something meaningful, yet the people you’re trying to impress respond without interest. You show up for people, but they rarely show up for you. You adjust yourself just to stay close to them, only to find out they were never paying attention. It becomes clear that you’re doing too much for people who are doing very little.

I remember realizing that the real problem wasn’t these people, it was the belief that we needed to earn acceptance by changing ourself. But we need to understand that genuine people don’t need to be impressed. They appreciate you in your natural form. They notice your effort even when it looks simple. They support your small steps and understand your pace. With people like that, there is no pressure to perform.

We need to understand that energy is precious, and time is even more precious. All the hours spent trying to impress people could have been used to build ourselves, learn something new, or strengthen relationships with those who already cared. Instead,of investing in people who would not have noticed if you stopped showing up.

In my opinion, I think it is good to pay attention to the people who make genuine space for us. People who value those who listen without forcing ourselves to act differently. People who deserve our time.
Spending time trying to impress people who don’t care about us leaves us with nothing but regret at the end.

Thank you for reading 🙏🏼