Finding Peace amidst Mess

Life has a way of testing our strength in moments we least expect. Sometimes, no matter how strong we try to be, things fall apart in ways we can’t control. I’ve had my share of such moments, and one particular experience I've had taught me that peace isn’t found when everything is perfect, but when you learn to stay calm in the middle of chaos.

I remember my second year in the higher institution. That period was one of the toughest for me. I couldn’t pay my school fees on time, and the exams were just around the corner. I made calls, pleaded, and tried to raise the money, but nothing worked out. Then came an instruction that no student would be allowed to write exams without the exam permit, and to get that, your fees must be fully paid. I was so disturbed that I couldn’t even read.

As if that wasn’t enough, bad news struck. I woke up one morning to the heartbreaking news that my grandfather had passed away. I was very close to him, and hearing that he was gone broke me completely. I couldn’t hold back my tears. Everything felt heavy, my exams, my unpaid fees, and now the loss of someone dear to me. To make things worse, the date of his burial fell on the same day as one of my exam papers, which meant I might not be able to pay my last respect to him.

That period was a total mess for me. I couldn’t sleep well at night because my mind was restless. I would lie on my bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about how everything was falling apart. During the day, I couldn’t focus; I walked around like someone carrying a load too heavy to bear. My thoughts were filled with worry and confusion. I felt hopeless and helpless at the same time. It was like I was sinking deeper each day, and no one could pull me out.

At that point, I didn’t know what to do or where to go. My friends’ houses didn’t feel comfortable, and staying on campus only made me more anxious. So, I decided to go to church the next morning and sit quietly on one of the chairs. I wasn’t there to pray but just to be still. I wanted to escape from the noise inside me. I sat there in silence, and the quietness of the place began to speak peace into my troubled heart. I spoke silently to God in my heart, asking for peace and strength to face whatever would come next. Slowly, I began to feel something lift off me, like the weight on my chest was easing. I just felt calmness inside me. I left the church that day with a calm spirit, telling myself that God’s will should be done.

Later in the evening, I woke up from a nap and saw three missed calls from my dad. When I called him back, he asked me if I saw his message. I said no. So, he told me he had sent my school fees. I couldn’t believe it. It felt like an answer to a prayer I didn’t even know how to pray. I asked him how he was able to raise the money because I knew the condition of my family then, and he simply replied, never mind how, God has taken control. Just go and pay your fees. The next day, I went straight to pay my fees and complete my registration. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

But there was still one more pain I was going through, my grandfather’s burial. It fell on one of my exam days. I wanted so much to go and pay my last respect to him, but deep down, I knew I might fail the paper if I missed the exam and get a carryover. My heart was torn. Then my mom called. She spoke to me calmly and with so much understanding and encouraged me to focus on my exams and not allow anything to distract me. She said my grandfather would have wanted me to succeed. I found peace in her words, and I accepted everything as it was and chose to focus on my exams instead of drowning in sorrow.

One thing I learned from that experience was that when we let go of worry and trust the process, peace finds its way into our hearts. Life will always have its storms, but peace is the anchor that keeps us steady.

Thank you for reading!!!