The mental state of constant reliance.
Two days into working with my partner (which has been extremely exhausting), I have learned a lot. So she lets me handle her Twitter account, which has over 62k followers, and I occasionally get to check her Twitter DMs and such.
Yesterday night, I was surprised at some of the messages she had, some of them were offering her money to sell a particular product, some others were asking for support, others were begging for a follow back to get so they can kickstart their Attention economy Career.
Of course, she was not responding to any of these DMs, and I also remembered texting her and pitching her a business idea. She could have never responded, and I would have moved on, but perhaps she found something particularly appealing in my offer and chose to respond.
There are many areas of my life where I currently require her assistance, but instead I chose to offer her what I can do.
Rich/POOR
Life can be hard, it's easy to key into the "POOR/RICH" segregation. I mean, there is nothing wrong with accepting that you are poor and someone else is rich, but believing and accepting the long-term viability of this mindset will always keep you dependable.
For example, I am chronically ill and suffering from health complications, and while I know I need help at times, I do not want to accept that I always do. Instead I want to give something that makes me worthy to receive something.
I do not believe that life provides unlimited freebies; instead, I believe that life requires you to give something in order to receive something else. It does not matter if your offer is insignificant in comparison to what you will receive.
Accept the reality of unfairness
It is easier for people who are already established in life. For example, my partner recently listed a painting she did for 0.6 ETH, and she is probably doing well in life; her painting career has helped her build a large fanbase online, and when I texted her, my goal was to sell her an idea rather than beg her for anything.
Of course, she is generally a good person (as far as I know), but I do not see people as "good"; I see them for who they are, and whether we are friends or not, I will always want to contribute.
I repeat, life isn't fair and it's sad, but sometimes being poor or rich is a mentality, you choose not to accept it as a reality, and this can push you to a state where you find it discover value within yourself.
Again, I am not saying you should be or live in denial. For example, I mentioned my condition earlier; I have accepted it because it is genetic, but if I could change it, I would keep working hard to do so. The idea is to never accept situations that are changeable, even if they are difficult or painful.
Empathy can be exhausted
True, we can gain empathy; however, there are times when we truly require assistance that we are unable to provide for ourselves. Everyone has times in their lives when they are vulnerable, weak, defenseless, and handicapped, but these are temporary situations that are not meant to last forever.
We are not meant to stay in changeable positions in life, and sometimes we must disagree with forces that want to confine us to one position. Empathy from others can be fleeting; people can only do so much for us, so it is critical that we do not exhaust their empathy by constantly relying on them.
People have elasticity limits, including those who love us; it may take longer, but they do. We can choose for others to see us as burdens; however, life can make us burdens to others, cursed to be dependent beyond our control, but we can still try.
You do not want to show up only to have people ignore or look away because they do not want to help. It is almost as if they can predict when you will need their assistance, and your current state of affairs sometimes confirms this.
Value can be exclusive
While we cannot all provide value, some people must be superior to others. The disparity in life stages traps us in the rat race of "I am going to make it." There is nothing wrong with that.
Because many people are not born into "made" situations in life. This is why there are more "self-made" billionaires rather than "my father made me a billionaire." Again, this is not about money; it is about attempting to see yourself differently, rather than what or who life has made you.
Not your illness, nor your financial situation, but how you fight to change the stereotype. I have been subjected to numerous common stereotypes throughout my life. It can be difficult, and I have cried about them in the past; I still do, but because they are beyond my control, I try to fight the battles I can and leave the ones I can't.
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What I have come to realize some people remain poor in life because of self pity, while some has accepted defeat, they believe they can't make it in life, I love the fact that you make sure you work to earn any reward from anyone no matter how good the person seems to be, that mindset is just what makes life easy even when circumstances are tough.
Well, to be fairer; it's not easy on anyone without means and enablement in life, but we just gotta keep trying, rather than give up.
Giving up shouldn't be an option at all.
Life never has been nor will it be fair. All we can do is make the best of what we have to work with. Sounds like a challenging job to handle a lot of that work, but if it can make you some money it's worth it!
People can only be stretched too far before they snap, I agree with you. It's great to be empathetic, but it does have it's limits. And just seeing people for who they are is a great way to see things. Not everyone is upfront about who they are, and I've learned more caution over the years. All part of life.
Great post, I think I tried this call the other day and it didn't work. Let's try it again!
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Sounds like a challenging job to handle a lot of that work, but if it can make you some money it's worth it!
The potential is there, but there's a lot of work to be done, if I don't find the creativity or think outside the box, I think I might end up with nothing and have to leave, but I just want to believe I need to come up with creative ways to fend for the family.
It might not work sometimes. I'm currently still sick with the FLU even after recovering, so it basically just makes me need help to do some of the simplest things.
Yeah life is almost never fair, it can hit you as soon as you are born, it can hit you in the best moment of your life, it can take away everything... As you say we can fight for that we can change by ourself "who does himself does for three"
And indeed you can rely on others once, twice, but already at 3 requests they start getting annoyed
Exactly. Relying on people is not bad, infact that's some of the beauty of life, but when it becomes too much then it's easy to see one as a burden, or a leach who just wants to take without bringing back value..
Life isn't fair, and I think we just have to do the best with what we have. I am not surprised at all the messages at successful people. It just seems like people chase those people no matter the situation. Good luck, and it looks like you are doing well with your new job.
Yeah, I think people who are at a position to help others are also scared at the number of people, asking for help, sometimes it can be very scary, and I don't blame people who choose not to help others when they need it.
You are really a business man, not mixing friendship with business is a good thing, and it's a good thing to be envied rather than pitied, life is not without challenges, I pray for continuous blessings and vibrant health for you 🙏
Keep sharing what you go through with the new work arrangement and especially how it makes you feel or how that changes you! That can be a valuable life experience to others who may be in a position to choose at some point or now.
I'm really learning a lot of things and honestly, I hope to share them in the coming weeks, God willing. It's crazy how life is. Imagine, not choosing to beg for help brought me an audience, but imagine a lot of people just choosing to beg gets them ignored
You stood out! Since so many asked for something without providing anything in return.
Changeable situations shouldn't be accepted as unchangeable, at least not from a permanent perspective. I think each one of us wants to be their own person, achieve some independence and have more freedom to decide what we want to do. Unfortunately, life will always present obstacles, some of them insurmountable as we venture into navigating this journey.
You're right.. life vah always get in the way. Obstacles are part of the journey and I've come to accept that. I just that if people at least showed a little steel, courage and creativity, then they wouldn't have to stay and watch the storm destroying them, when they can get creative and look for shelter. Changeable situations in life shouldn't be left alone.
That's mostly the mindset I have too. I'll rather think that I can change my life trajectory than aimlessly resign to my current circumstances and believe that's how it will always be. Especially in this day and age, there are myriads of opportunities to change one's life for the better, one just needs to find which route works for them and then get to work.