Patience and refrain paid off for us

Holidays in Nigeria are usually buzzing for the majority and for the minority, a solemn or quiet time for the passing. We are at a point in Nigeria where, due to strenuous financial constraints, some messages or calls bring a fear to our hearts as we envisage inconveniences or billings. Would you blame anyone when the hardship hit the majority, especially the middle and lower classes? Truth be told, I get worried when I see uncommon phone calls or messages; it seems there is a problem soon to be shared. Well, perhaps I could console myself by saying that the problem shared is half solved.

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Thankfully, I have tried to keep an open mind to all forms of requests, financial and otherwise. Not too long ago, someone told me he needed my help. I was a bit worried, and my mind could not rule out financial, for which I was equally handicapped, but how many people would you explain to? Fortunately and unfortunately, the request was not financial but painful, and I was indisposed to help the person even though I wish I could. At least, being open-minded reduces anxiety about needs and wants. Have we wondered where the majority of inconveniences emanate from? I believe they are from third parties, and unfortunately, we cannot do without friends and relatives, as many cannot live in isolation.

So, even if we cannot help out completely, we can identify with the individual. This reminds me of a Holy Bible passage where Job rebuked his friends during his trial times. The friends said things that were not benefiting his soul, and he had to rebuke them to offer him only their comforting presence rather than their hurtful words. Job 13:5 of the Holy Bible says, "O that you would be completely silent, and that it would become your wisdom."

A family friend I consider my younger sister shared a chat with her and her boyfriend's sister, who happened to be a medical doctor. The relationship is barely two months old, and the boyfriend got admitted for some medical condition I will not be disclosing here. My friend was lashed with several words from the boyfriend's sister, and personally, I wondered if she would have a happy home if she eventually married into that family. My counsel to her was simple: do not give her the audience she is looking for. The sister wanted her to start traveling down from Ilorin to Abuja, which is about a nine-hour journey by road, immediately after the news was disclosed. Many hurtful words were said, making me wonder if that sister was actually a professional colleague, and, come to think of it, based on their two-month relationship, it was inferred that my friend should become the caregiver automatically.

My friend was able to keep silent through the harsh and insulting words. Eventually, the sister of the boyfriend and his parents flew to Abuja to take care of the boy. The boyfriend spoke so well about my friend that this sister deleted most of her harsh words and made a profound apology with a promise not to interfere with the relationship henceforth. I was glad for my friend nonetheless; I warned her that the sister is a potential troublemaker.

Screenshot credit is mine

Thankfully, I was able to calm her down and prevent her from throwing responses, which would have worsened the whole scenario and maybe to the detriment of the lovebirds. Let me say God fought for her while we kept silent and prayed against the devil.

I believe we should listen more and react less. I hope I get to listen more to people's plights and give more prudent counsel.

Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.