What Do You Have?

I read a poem recently that talked about the difference between moments and memories. What are moments? The now. What are memories? Pictures and crystallizations of the now in our minds, and our hearts, and in physical objects that they represent.

So, where do we draw the line?

Or, is there even a line? Between moments are memories?

In this generation we’re in, how keener are we on the memories than of the moments?

We find the picturesque setting, and the restaurant with the perfect ambience, and we’re too busy taking pictures of the food and the sights for our social media pages, that we forget why we’re there in the first place. To just be. To soak up all around us. All in the moment.

And it doesn’t just apply to dates or outings with friends and those we love. Even on solo dates and solo trips. Our moments are sacrificed on the altar of memories, and the future sacrificed at the expense of the now. Because what is the essence of the distractions of our now if it wasn’t so we could cherish them in the future?

So, when I saw the question posed by the minimalist community this week, I thought to myself how uncanny it was:

What advice would you give to your younger self about letting go of physical and emotional things and experiences?

And my answer is to be in the now. Soak every moment of the now so deeply that you don’t feel too attached to it, and can actually let it go if you wanted. You can only do this because you enjoyed every part of that present you were in, so there’s no heed grappling at straws, trying to save some moments for the future.

It never stops amazing me how fleeting each moment is. The fact that each minute gone cannot be recovered. It’s a jarring thought even without thinking about it too deeply, and a reminder to live in the present. Do not worry about tomorrow cause even that is not provided. You can take advantage of today. Of that singular minute you exist in, and make it as memorable as you can.

I’ll tell my younger self that it’s easier to let go of physical and emotional things and experiences because even the good ones can become a burden at some point. And the good memories a baggage. So, instead of the stickers and postcards and moments of the places you visited, and the people you saw, you could just ensure that you did not waste the time you spent there by being fully on it, and fully with those people.

And finally, especially for the physical bit, that picture, that ornament, whatever object it is you hold so dear... You’ll feel much lighter when you let go of it. No, you’re not suddenly going to wake up and cry that you let it go. The heaviness ends the moment you rid yourself of it, and it gets lighter from there. Much lighter, indeed.

Ending this by reminding young Tessa: What do you have that you did not receive? If it was at one point not yours, then surely, it’s easier to just let it go, isn’t it?

Jhymi🖤


Images are mine.

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The question that has always fascinated me, is how long is a moment?

I wrote a paper on that topic in university, in the context of Art, and well, it depends, because some memories, forged from moments are of multi-day events, or other memories are the moment of a past embrace of a friend, or of the taste of a thing you once ate in some far-gone place.

A moment doesn't have to be the now, it could be the past, it could be the future, but of course, we can only experience whatever our brains are doing at any given moment.

What moments are you missing when you are in a memory? When you're in someone else's memory, is that your moment too?

Memory and the moment are such interesting things to explore. When I was doing my last year of University in the Masters program for Visual Art, one of my class mates modelled for one of my pieces - her work was primarily self portraits, and the representations we produced (hers were based on memory, and a sense of self , while mine were based on transience and ephemerality) and it all fit together quite nicely conceptually, looking at it from different angles.

There's also the relativity of moments - not in a physical, scientific sense, but when you've got lots of stimuli, those moments tend to go quicker, and when you've got little, those last longer.

This is such an interesting concept, and one that we should all explore more in greater depth, but I guess people don't value those moments.

Thank you for the thought provoking post.

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Too in-depth for words to remotely capture.
Felt like my front-lobe increased just reading this.
All the intricacies and depths to what may otherwise feel so simple.

When you're in someone's else's memory, is that your moment too?
I thought so deeply on this that a thousand worded post can be crafted for how hard I thought, trying to ascertain the validity of the statement, and to what extent.

So lovely to see that you've had the opportunity to thoroughly create something that fascinating in your college days, and just from your words, I could imagine how much work was poured into it, yet how beautiful each moment was. Another fond moment becoming an even fonder memory.

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It goes by so unbearably fast, doesn't it? Without us squandering it (so why squander, you know?). I try to remind myself a lot - you're distracted, you're elsewhere. You can continue to be, but this, whatever is happening now is finite. It will end, whether you pay attention or not, and you may regret it. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't :)

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It's always way easier talking about it, but how often it skips our minds or easily ignored in the practicality of the moment.

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Hmmn. So touching. We dwell so much thinking about the future and forget to take good advantage of the moment that will eventually become memories in the tomorrow we are so concerned about. 😞

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Exactly so, Abdul.
Make the most of today.
Thank you so much for reading.✨🌺

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