Love and Expression

I used to be one of those people who thought love languages to be some hype that didn’t hold water. I mean, what do you mean that you just have to do one thing and that will make a person accept your love or keep being in love with you? How did that mindset change? Easy, I grew up. I think not just in maturity but in understanding.

From a very objective point of view, I feel that the whole concept of love languages is beautiful. I mean, even though these days we can just easily talk about it or tell someone what our love languages are, it’s also easy for the partner or whoever we’re telling to observe and just see that these are the things that make us tick, gives us the tingles and what not.

And no, I don’t think anyone has just one love language. From words of affirmation to quality time, physical touch, acts of service and finally gifts. You can look at the different ways that love has been shown to you and you can just know the things that a person did or said and it just made you feel.... right.

I kind of have a ranking for what I think my true love languages are. If we’re being honest, all of them kind of are but there are two specific ones that I rank the highest in terms of the way I react to them. And they are words of affirmation and acts of service.

Words of Affirmation

Verbal communication, random compliments, validation, acknowledgements, verbal expressions of love, text messages. Those kinds of things with the right person would naturally just induce love in all its respects in me. Sometimes you don’t know what your love languages are till you’re with the right person. Sometimes you could be closed off or possibly have been in something toxic in the past so you didn’t realize. But the right words from the right person are just it.

Acts of Service

Acts of service for me simply mean putting those words of love into action. So it’s not just about you saying them now, you show them. Not necessarily in big ways, little ways and random and spontaneous ways. Those simple acts of kindness that are endearing, acts that show thoughtfulness and consideration for your partner. The beautiful thing about acts of service is that it doesn’t need to be so glamorous or some grand gesture. It’s just simple and pure acts that show that yeah, you value this person, that you’re being intentional about that person. It’s a beautiful thing and something I’ve come to love extremely.

I think I may be trying so hard to be objective about this. Forgive me, if I’m just grating on the surface and not making it more personal. I have experienced acts of service on a personal level. I can’t remember what but I know they’ve been a series of things. Randomly doing something that I had just talked about in passing, knowing that I may not be available for something or too tired so he did it for me himself. I pride myself a lot on being an independent woman who has her life pretty much handled but you only need to come in contact with the right person that you just realize that hey, it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to have that burden ease a bit from your shoulders because someone loves you enough to count those burdens as his too.

The whole essence of love languages is to create that exquisite feeling of connection and that deep sense of love in your partner. Love is an exhilarating feeling that can mostly be realized when our love languages are fully explored and communicating those things with your partner so they understand and know what to do increases the connection you both have and solidifies the relationship tremendously.

Of the five, what are your love languages?

Jhymi🖤

Image is mine