Get Used To It!

I don’t know if I ever got to talk about it, but I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’d been involved in some sort of fight, with a colleague in school. It was more of an argument, where of course, as expected, the girl in question resorted to screaming and violent gesticulations instead of just talking right .

I remember how bad I felt about it, but it was mostly because I’d even indulged someone so dramatic in the first place. So when I walked away and moved somewhere else and found out later on that the girl had started crying and a host of guys were you know, fanning her and begging that she calm down, I laughed. Theatrics. Was never my thing.

Why do I bring this up? It’s because I got into school today cause I had this whole biometrics thing going on and decided to branch into one of the department halls, and the whole place became quiet. I wasn’t wearing my glasses and it was quite sunny so I had to squint to make out the faces and the people.

There the queen sat, flocked by a few girls and a lot more of her minion guys, huddled together discussing. I’d been walking with a friend and the environment was practically oozing negative energy. So, I gave a smile in everyone’s general direction and started to go back to where I came from.

I mean stopping here would not get me to the basis of this whole post. So I shall continue the story.

So, if I’d just been left alone then there wouldn’t have been a problem, but barely ten steps into my journey back to some other lecture hall and I heard someone call my name. I turned to see this guy who, if my eyes weren't failing me, was a few seconds ago, part of the huddling team.

“Good afternoon,” I said when he’d reached me. “Is there any problem?”

He looked at me for a few seconds and started chuckling. I turned to my friend, confused. Since when did greeting become comedy? Had I unconsciously aced the test to become a stand-up comedian? I failed to understand what was so funny. But soon enough, I knew.

“You know this is the thing you do. You usually act so high and mighty. We may end up finishing school and you’ll be almost friendless. You keep acting like you’re better than everybody else. Tonia said that you should have come say hi to us. You can’t keep doing like you’re different.”

Ladies and gentlemen, it was my turn to laugh. But it wasn’t because I thought it was funny. I’m pretty sure from the way my friend looked at me that I was laughing in an unhinged amusing way. The first thought in my mind was...F$%k you, f$%k your little governess/babysitter, Tonia. F$%k all of you. But I didn’t say any of that, cause I cannot sweat and ultimately jeopardise my queenly status for someone who didn’t deserve it.

So to the little messenger of the group, I gave him a winning smile because frankly I was too tired and the dry season was way too unfriendly to be exchanging words, and then I walked away. Does that maybe prove his point? Maybe. Do I care, however? A big, ginormous No.

Which brings me to what I have to say today. Get used to it. I like to live a pretty simple life. I detest entanglements. I frown at complications. I abhor unduly stressful situations. And then if you give me all three of them, best believe I’ll run away as fast as my legs can carry. I did smile. A lot. I’m not a natural smiler. I keep a stoic face which people misinterpret as a glower most of the time. But I made an effort to smile to everyone. And then when it was needed the most, they all turned at me and chose to side with drama against logic.

I won’t ever forget it. So in as much as I’m not the kind to keep enemies, I’ve sort of distanced myself as a way of preventing insults and unpalatable situations. I know there's this thing were people try to play the victim card. So they're always the victimized one in their stories but this isn't it. I'm not discrediting the fact that I may have done something wrong, I just don't understand what I did.

Get used to the fact that not everyone would like you. Get used to the fact that no matter how good you are, people will always find a fault. Heck, get used to the fact that you may be constantly on the giving and sacrificing end but the second you fall even a little bit out of line, everyone turns against you like you haven’t shown an iota of goodness before. Get used to the fact that when it really counts, you’re the only one who will be able to fight your battles. All alone. Get used to the fact that your favourite and most reflective moments would be in your own company. Alone.

It’s a lot really but I just wanted to let this out. This post wasn’t intended to be a long one but you know, wherever the pen leads, and all of that. Do have a wonderful day for the remainder of this week guys.

Jhymi🖤

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_{Image is mine.}