My Bads in others and How I feel

The human person is defined by his acts which he exhibits most often towards others or in the face of circumstances. It can be either negative or positive acts. The negativity or positivity is most often a result of the judgement of the receiver of the action whether active or passive receiver.

By implication, the individual who experiences the act and frowns at it sees it as negative but another may see it as something positive and cool with it. Thus, we talk about the subjectivity of the nature of human act. But does it mean that all human acts have a subjective nature?
Of course no, there are some objectively bad acts which by nature without any personal judgement is a negative act.

There are many factors behind the acts that humans carry out but basic is the fact of the quest to satisfy the self. When this becomes the only factor, it leads one to becoming a beast to others. It would mean that whatever will be to his advantage is the right thing to be done even if it hurts every other person.

Being indifferent towards the feelings of others is a dangerous thing and which ruin the peace of the society. The question to such people is, what do you feel when others do to you those things that you are not comfortable with?. Indeed, no one loves to feel bad and would always want to be happy and that is why we have to pay attention to the feelings of others towards our actions.

This is a necessary awareness to the whole of the human race and I am glad that the thinkers corner challenge for this month as written by @kenechukwu97 is geard towards this direction to describe those negative things we feel about us and how we feel seeing it in others. The good thing here is that one recognises that a particular act is not good and does not feel good about it and perhaps is something one is struggling with to stop.

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Personally, I recognise myself as one struggling with a lot of things and which I know with the passage of time if I keep struggling for change, I will overcome them and be a better man. Talking about the things in my life that I am not comfortable with, there are a number of them and I shall succinctly describe three of them below.

The inability to express love to others: I am one person that loves to be loved but I have a strong difficulty with showing love. It's just so difficult that I try my possible best but it just doesn't work. I enter into a relationship today and it can last only for two weeks and that's all. It is not the case that the lady did anything wrong but I have a problem deep within with sustaining that bond which at the beginning is often very interesting and which the lady would already think that I am the best man in the world. But the good thing here is that it is only in a relationship with a lady, I have no problem with showing love to others on a plain level.

Most of the relationships I have been in, I have always been the reason for the failure because I just get tired easily and back off gradually and it dies. But when I receive that same act from a lady when I am interested in a lady, it hurts me so much. Because of how much it hurts me, I have realised how much I hurt people each time I back off in a relationship without any concrete reason. So these days, I have decided not to enter into any relationship again unless I am really ready to settle down. Now I refuse to toast any girl again, unless play play toasting, hehe

That desire to be listened to attentively when I am talking: I hate lack of attention when I am talking to someone. Whether in a group meeting or in a personal discussion with someone. But this is what I do most often. In a meeting, most times I love sitting with my friends and we discuss almost throughout the meeting but when I want to talk I would want every other person to pay attention to me. It is such that if I see any person talking when I am talking, I get angry and shun the person.

Having noticed how this annoys me over time, I have tried now to avoid sitting with close friends during meetings and try to focus but it's not easy because I am often tempted to discuss with them, hehe. Furthermore, if I am talking to someone on phone and the person receives another call during our call, its a big problem but I do it most times and would make justifications. I reflect these things and I tell myself the truth that I have not been good.

Lack of concern for things: I am a person that shows interest omly to things that concern me personally and what I am assigned to do personally but whatever is entrusted to the care of everyone but without specification, in so far I am not the leader, I behave like its not my concern and do as I like.

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However, in the situation whereby I am placed in charge of a group and work is to be done, I frown at anyone not showing interst in the work. Looking at this, I realise how others feel too when I don't show concern for a group task. Now I try to build a team spirit.

The summary of everything is that it is nice to be nice. These days, my motto is : do to others what you want done to you and do not do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. That is the golden rule. When we live in this way, the world would be a better place for each one of us.

Thanks so much for reading though. And please, I am working on myself eh, so don't see me as a bad man, hehe. But for the ladies, be careful before you love me sha, dat one hard for me, hehe