Believing in myself feel almost impossible; but I still do.

Today, I feel completely unmotivated, I didn't want to get out of bed, as if the weight of everything from the past few weeks had come crashing down on me. And I almost let it.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. Nothing was going as planned, one after another, all my plans came apart. I knew I was struggling. It felt like I needed help, but I didn't know who to turn to or if anyone would come to my aid.

Last week, a friend of mine called, she just left for NYSC this year and was struggling with serious financial issues. She told me she had been able to eat because she had no money, and I believe her, knowing the country situation it was hard not to believe. And knowing full well she had been sponsoring herself throughout school. There was a time she had gone without food for days and when she told me, I knew I had to help her with whatever I could. Then, school was really tough. Eating three square meals in a day was considered a life of luxury.

This is the reality of many graduates. After school, life becomes a struggle. We go through years of education, yet we're never equipped with the tools to navigate survival in the real world. Instead, we're thrown into a world of uncertainty, where struggles and pressure becomes a daily routine. Some lose their lives trying to make it, while others fall into the wrong path, making choices they'll come to regret in the future.

But sometimes you understand why they will choose the easiest and fastest way to make money. There are no jobs, yet bills keep piling up, and in a typical African home, graduating means you're expected to start contributing into the household. The pressure comes from everywhere–your family, your peers, your surroundings and most of all, yourself.

You step into the real world feeling lost, and like everyone else, you struggle to make ends meet.

So believe when I tell you, there are days when I just want to ignore or shut out the pressure, silence the voice of failure, and escape the weight of it all by simply sleeping.

But there are also days when I feel unbreakable, convinced that my problems can't break me. Someday, believing in myself feels almost impossible—but I still do.

Sometimes you just need a reminder of what you're fighting for. I'm fighting for a better life– for myself, my family, my future husband and my kids. And a better life for every person I will ever cross paths with, because at the end of the day, we're all humans, and even the smallest act of kindness can change a person's life.

This song was exactly the motivation I needed to get out of bed, and push through another day. I know myself well enough to say I'm too stubborn to give up, especially when I can almost taste victory just ahead.

I might be able to figure my whole life today but I'm stop trying~••°•

Image are from my playlist 🎧
Did some editing using Ai gallery
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