Awkward conversations...Do you know what's going on? 😬

The construction of a couple's bond requires humility to recognize mistakes, the ability to ask for forgiveness and forgive, the ability to repair in a creative way, nourishing the bond, without ever forgetting Self-love as a guide for the uncomfortable conversations necessary to adjust the bond to the desires and needs of both.

Let's remember that falling in love is always very cute, delicious with kisses and super hormonal. In fact, building a conscious love requires work, reciprocity and flexibility. Love is not only connection, it is intention, awareness and choice of values, rhythms and life projects. The relationship as a couple is not a game, it is a society where you build or limit your behavior.

In my case with my 47-year-old partner, we are already different in terms of routines, for example me.master.train very early and he doesn't, then everyone has their routine activities at different times and nothing happens, me.I am more diurnal and he is more nocturnal, everyone goes to bed at the time that suits him and makes him feel good, neither of us have had to modify each other's cicardian cycle, we choose each other every day from the heart, really during all these years it has flowed well, with love, respect and some adjustments along the way by each one.

How many times have we given in just so that the other doesn't get upset?Since when is our peace worth less than the comfort of others? Putting up with the consequences of a yes that you don't want to give so that the other person is happy is not empathy, it's surrender. And giving up at the expense of oneself is the perfect recipe for resentment, guilt and emotional discomfort, because of "avoiding friction" with others, or worse, for fear that "they will stop loving you" or they will point at you.

Many of us grew up believing that to love was to stay, even when it hurts.
But you know what? Love is not measured by how much you endure, but by how much you take care of yourself and the other. The first years with the couple is where it is sown.

I am totally convinced that it is possible to let go of what we have learned about love and start building relationships that nourish us and help us to be our best version.

Are we ready to love differently?

Saying a not landed means setting healthy boundaries from self-esteem.

So let's stop eating that story and not negotiate our dignity and our self-love. And in no way does your "no" need justification or apologies. The one who loves you well, understands. And the one who doesn't... let him leave your life.

Janitze 🌹