Toxic or Bad Relationship: Repairing Damaged Bonds

Most of us have experienced a toxic or bad relationship in our lives. Some have managed to fix it, while others end up in sad separations.

Many people who have ended up in a bad relationship don’t know what to do about it. Some just hope that their partner will eventually mature and change, while others can’t take it anymore and choose to leave.

But before we dive deeper into this issue, let’s first define what a toxic or bad relationship is.

What is a Toxic or bad Relationship?

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto

A toxic or bad relationship is a relationship in which one or both individuals feel consistently unhappy, unsupported, and unfulfilled. It may be characterized by ongoing patterns of behavior that are emotionally, psychologically, or physically harmful to one or both partners.

What are the signs of a toxic or bad relationship
Some common signs of a toxic or bad relationship may include:

• Constant criticism or belittling
• Control or manipulation of one partner by the other
• Lack of trust or betrayal
• Dishonesty or deceit
• Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• Withholding affection, support, or communication
• Ignoring or dismissing the needs and feelings of one partner
• Feeling constantly drained, exhausted, or unhappy in the relationship

Is there a chance to fix a toxic or bad relationship?

When you first started your relationship, it was good, right? Because if it’s not, and there are already red flags, I’ll assume that you didn’t make a smart decision when you committed to that relationship. The most common solution that people will advise you is to break up, but that is not easy for everyone. Some have already invested a lot of emotions with their partner, and sometimes breaking up is not the solution.

I believe that it always takes two to build a toxic relationship. What I’m trying to say is that these signs appear because of the partners’ reaction to their partner’s actions.

Criticism, Manipulation, and Emotional Abuse

Let’s say your partner does dumb things. If you simply point out those mistakes and make your partner feel even dumber than they already do, you may end up producing hate in your heart and hurting your partner’s feelings.

Instead, what if you try to tell them their mistake nicely, in a way that won’t hurt their pride? A relationship is not about who knows better, it’s about partnership, which means walking together on the same path and not pushing someone off when they make a mistake.

Now, let’s say you’re on the receiving end of criticism, manipulation, or emotional abuse. In that case, tell your partner in a gentle way that their actions are hurting your feelings. Don’t respond to negativity with more negativity. Doing so will only fuel your anger and hate, and in the end, you’ll both be upset.

“People Headbang because the Music is Rock and Roll”

Betrayal, Dishonesty

This is one of the most common issues in a relationship. For some of us, cheating is not forgivable, but would you believe that there are some people who can withstand cheating partners? It’s not that they tolerate it, it’s just that they are already emotionally invested. They are also hoping that by bringing in more love and understanding in the relationship, their partner will realize that they are really the one for them and they should not be replaced. For them, it’s better to stay because leaving their partner will also end up in sadness. It’s not that they can become happy after leaving their partner.

You might call them stupid, and that’s also how I saw them before, but the problem is not our hearts that are hurting, but theirs. Some of them eventually succeed in changing their partner’s behavior while others remain unlucky and still hoping.

I’ve heard from a womanizer before that he changed his heart and ways because of the love that his partner gave to him, even though he is a cheater. Good for him, it’s not yet too late and the girl is still holding on. But for other guys, it’s too late to realize that they are already with the right partner.

Loveless Relationship

This is when your partner is withholding affection, maybe because they are mad at you or because they have feelings for someone else. Instead of irritating them and making the relationship more toxic, try using the same approach you would use if your partner was cheating, if you want them to stay. Try bringing more love into the relationship and spicing things up. It’s possible that the relationship is just in a cooldown phase, or your partner may be preoccupied with other things. Let’s just hope it’s not because they have started another relationship.

A toxic relationship can still be fixed. It’s the one with better understanding who is supposed to act on it. When things are broken, we try to fix them and not just throw them away. Remember, this broken thing once made you happy.”