She Grew in the Shadows: Inner child. (My introductory post)

Growing up in the province of Bulacan, I always dreamed of living in the big city. (Manila). I know, it’s not even that far, but in my young mind, the idea of Manila felt extravagant, almost magical.

I always wondered what it would be like to be in those FPJ movie scenes we used to watch.(set in the busy streets of Manila) So curious about the mountains and beaches I saw in my Sibika at Kultura books..
What was it really like in Baguio, Tagaytay, or Boracay? What was all the hype about?

I was just an ordinary kid who lacked attention and spent most of her days within four walls. Unlike the typical probinsyana, my mother never allowed me to go out and explore the world beyond our home, not even to play with our neighbors. I thought I was doing just fine, until they suddenly passed away and left me with nothing but the unknown.

20 years ago, I lost both of my parents. Their absence left me wondering how I would survive in this vast, chaotic world. While others were studying and living freely, I was too busy working, trying to put food on the table, and doing whatever I could just to stay afloat. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that there was life outside the four walls I was stuck in. I didn’t even know what a vacation or travel felt like.

With a little help and a lot of hard work, I managed to get myself into college (of course, a lot later than usual). I may not have had the same privileges as others, but I made it through, knowing that the world wouldn’t pause, not even for a second, to wait for me.

But don’t get me wrong. The battle was tough, so tough that I had to beg, plead, and stay around people who didn’t even see me as family just to survive. I had to go deep down the rabbit hole and do things I’m not proud of, things that still haunt me to this day.

Me and my ALS classmates with our prof.

Today, I’m a woman in my thirties, living somewhere in the big city, has a stable job, and a mother of two beautiful kids. I want my kids to see the world for what it really is; wide, wild, and full of stories that don’t happen in one place. I don’t want them to grow up thinking life begins and ends in the same corner. There’s too much out there, people to meet, places to feel, mistakes to learn from. Staying in one place feels like keeping their wings folded. So I'm showing them the world, little by little, hoping they grow brave enough to chase it on their own someday.

My kids 💕

These days, I’m slowly discovering more about myself. What excites me, what brings me peace, and what makes me feel truly alive. I’m learning to reconnect with the inner child who once longed for attention and barely knew what the outdoors looked like.

I find joy in small freedoms, like driving down quiet roads late at night just to get a cup of coffee. It may seem simple, almost insignificant, but to me, it’s a quiet rebellion — a soft, steady reminder that I am free. Free to choose, to explore, and to experience the things I once believed were out of reach.

Some shots of me behind wheels and doing things that make me feel alive.

I am here to show the world how I'm healing my inner child. Not through anyone else’s help, but through my own courage and choices. Because in reality, our lives are shaped by the decisions we make. It’s a story that only we can write. And whether we choose to carry that wounded version of ourselves or leave them behind, that choice is entirely ours.

I’m thankful for the people who helped me get to this point in my life. The domino effect of hard work, luck, persistence, and the kindness of helping hands shaped me into the person I am today.

Special thanks to @antonette for teaching me how this website works.
Now, I can finally share my thoughts and express the feelings I’ve often kept to myself. I understand that the use of AI for posting is strictly prohibited, and I promise to respect and follow that rule.
I’ve also learned the value of meaningful engagement within the community. It’s exciting to see others who share the same interests and to discover information I never knew before.

I can assure you that everything I post—now and in the future—comes genuinely from my own thoughts and experiences.
All photos I upload were personally taken by me, although I did enhance them using Canva.

How about you? Did you get to heal your inner child too? Or do you think it’s just a myth?

With love,
Micka