Phobias - Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will

"Mummy, please I am afraid of the dark," cried my younger sister of about 10 years old. It was just a few minutes after 7 pm and the whole place was a bit dark, my mum had wanted to the lit the kerosene lamp outside the kitchen while my aunt was narrating a horror movie she watched the previous night, the scary scenes of vampires piercing their victims with the teeth and drawing the life out of their victims by sucking their blood, we shivered and had goosebumps over us as she recalls each scary scenes in the movie.

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Then, suddenly my mum called my younger sister and asked her to get the matchbox from the table in the kitchen, so she could light the lamp. My sister froze at that point in time and was almost in tears, how could my mum be sending her on an errand in the dark after hearing these kinds of scary stories tonight??? It's been 16 years now and not until 3 years ago, my sister was still afraid of being in the dark.

A phobia is described as an intense, extreme, and irrational fear of certain things or situations such as heights (acrophobia), water/swimming (aquaphobia), fear of animals (dogs, cats, lizards, snakes, etc), the fear of being in darkness or speaking publicly or being in an enclosed area or space are just a few amongst others. Fear is built over a period of time and usually, those who suffer from different phobias tend to be extremely anxious and avoid any scenarios associated with the object of their fear or phobia.

Phobias can cause a mental imbalance or disorder in their victims, these victims suffer depression, anxiety, panic attacks, uneasiness, and withdrawal or isolation. These symptoms adversely affect the behavior, emotions, and thinking abilities of the victims. Victims do not daily live their lives as every normal individual would because of the extreme anxiety of being triggered by the object of their phobia.

Pet peeves are actions or activities of others that are annoying or offensive to an individual or audience in general, imagine standing close to someone who chews gum loudly or sharing a bed with a roommate who snores loudly at night or laughs out loudly uncontrollably at a joke, never punctual to meetings or events etcetera. Usually, the individual or audience at the point of this displayed pet peeve is/are usually irritated, frustrated, or annoyed by such.

Sometimes an unhealthy social relationship springs forth, especially when they can no longer be tolerated, friendship or relationship values are lost in the process. Although phobias and pet peeves may begin at a young or tender age for many, their resultant effects are negative if not properly and appropriately handled. Victims suffer a mental setback, uneasiness or discomfort, depression, and feeling unloved or unwanted, isolation or loneliness are a few other after-effects.

Extreme fear and anxiety decrease one's self-confidence, fear is a powerful tool that can limit an individual, it can hold one spellbound to mediocrity; the feeling of not being good enough. This is more obvious when it comes to public speaking, people shy away from addressing a group of people or a crowd yet they may have great potential and quality imbedded in them. They probably would express themselves in paper and pen from the comfort of their space or hide behind a mask rather than address a crowd.

One successful method of overcoming extreme and irrational fear (phobia) and pet peeves is confrontation, this is possible by seeking assistance from a professional or specialist who has been trained or skilled to help you face or confront your fears and surpass them. There are a lot of psychologists around the world today who can offer such assistance.

Sun Tzu (a Chinese philosopher and writer) once said "Know thyself and know thy enemy, a thousand battles, a thousand victories". Until you are able to confront your phobias, they will never go away just like that, you have to avail yourself of that situation, build up confidence, and execute it. Imagine you are one who is afraid of swimming or drowning, you must be able to confront your fear, look at the water, dip a foot, then a second, and gradually your confidence builds up and you are ready to submerge yourself into the water. If you are afraid of heights, you need to be able to take up that height one at a time.

Your mind is a very powerful tool and interestingly whatever can be imagined in the mind can be brought to reality. The mind serves as the production site of our thoughts, feelings, and imaginations. If it can be imagined then it can be executed.

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